What’s it mean to us concerned with Family Rights?
What do we do?
A child has a right to be with their parents, a parent has a right to be with their child. The essence of Family. It’s a human right. Overriding this requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt presented to a jury of your peers. It should not be challenged by 51% of the “evidence”, or just the testimony of a few “experts”. Few Family Law cases would stand such a review. We need to communicate that to others — it’s simple to understand, basic, and fair.
Check out the Family Rights Act.
We must understand real change comes from within.
This is not an issue of numbers – While statistics are nice, let’s not loose site of the “right.” It doesn’t matter if 9 out of 10 parents in your neighborhood are bad, when your case comes forward you have a right to be assumed capable (innocent until proven guilty).
It’s a no-brainer – We’re not fighting economic prejudice or a colonial government, no one need die or be injured. Almost every one in our country believes in “equal rights.” Many don’t know the pain caused by the system, others have experienced the pain, but feel it can’t be changed, “that’s the way it is here.”
We’re good people and good parents – Many are brain washed and crushed by the system. Perhaps watched our child, the one we love, cringe in fear at the idea of spending time with us.
Do NOT believe it for a moment & do NOT give up. You can be as good a parent as your spouse, loved by your children equally as well — but it takes time, access, and sometimes a little training. All items which are NOT supplied by the present system.
We’re not “perfect”, no one is — a child does not require a perfect parent.
- Get rid of hatred toward an ex-spouse or the opposite sex – This is essential. As a parent denied access to your child, how easy it is to have envy & anger toward those who do. Free yourself of a ball & chain you don’t have to carry.
Understand the system and why it must change.
There is an industry of lawyers, counselors, psychologists and others who make an income from this system. They wish to continue to earn a living, and just like anyone, are threatened by change.
- Understand you see the Judge once, your lawyer may see this same Judge for many more cases — with no jury the Judge is all powerful.
- Understand your attorney has to balance your interests against his and the interest of future clients. You may be perfectly right on something, but your attorney is NOT going to upset the Judge.
- Understand the Law Guardian or Psychologist doesn’t want to be the only professional disagreeing with a majority decision. They rely on referrals from other attorney’s and Judges and don’t want to be seen as difficult.
Realize OUR most difficult sacrifice.
The movements we’ve reviewed were done by middle/lower classes. As Thoreau noticed, the more monthly payments you have, the harder it is to be an idealist. What would happen to us if we had to spend 30 days in jail. I’m sure all of us are willing to sacrifice anything for our children — but will it work?
We need to energize people – we need to support those willing to take risks. Those of us with money need to help them. We need to be less of a “support group” and more for “civil action”. We may all be surprised by the amount of support and people which appear once we start to take real action.
We need to take action.
Please follow some DO’s and DONT’s:
DO sit-ins with legislators – an effective way to meet with top people who “never have time to talk”. Send letters, try to schedule a meeting, make a good faith effort. Then go to their office (and bring a TV/news crew), and just sit there until they meet with you. Be quiet and polite, but don’t leave the office until the police arrive, and then go peacefully. Few legislators could stand the publicity of throwing constituents into jail when all they wanted was a meeting.
DO participate in parades and marches.
DON’T get into loud arguments and lost in the details – many people will want to nastily confront you and provoke you. What about this, what about that? Our firm voice is that a child has a right to both parents, a parent has a right to be with their child — a jury needs to find otherwise.
Yes, this will required changes in the system and the way we do “business” now, that can all be worked out as we go — but there is NO denying the basic right.
DON’T try to take your child to protest a custody ruling – while you may be 100% right, these types of actions are all too easy to frame as a cruel abduction. It makes it easy for opposition to rationalize you are “crazy” or “dangerous”. It confuses the issue in the public eye.
DON’T stop paying child support to protest – you may be right, but again it is TOO easy for opponents to frame this as your “true motivation”. You don’t care about kids, just money.
DO take actions that will make you alone suffer – as Gandhi and King demonstrated, these are the most effective. There is little bad you can say about someone who is going to jail quietly for what they believe in. Carry a picture of you and your child and quietly “picket” in a public building.
DO organize – it is best to take the actions above as a group, so we can support each other. The large and more coordinated the effort, the quicker we will see real results.