Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the “system” without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers (our goals for reform). The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal “nightmare” may realize — you are not alone! We want you to hear them in their own words. We can’t vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you’ll understand the bitterness and frustration you’ll read. The anger is directed at people involved, but the real source of all these issues is a system that has failed to recognize and protect fundamental Family Rights. Many times it encourages & rewards needless conflict between parents.
Name: Deanna Fincher Location: Roberta, GA
Email Addr: SouthernSweetness24@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Caleb/2001, Justin/2003, Lindsey/2004, Dylan/2007
Date Separated: 2007
In July 2007 my abusive ex-husband and his wife called our local Department of Family and Children Services and made a false report against me. When DFCS came to our home to investigate the report of abuse and drug use, we informed them of the conflict of interest. My fiance’s sister was a case worker for that same DFCS and the aunt to two of my children. According to the GA Dept. of Human Resources guide lines, the case was NOT supposed to be investigated by that county when there was a conflict of interest but instead it was supposed to be sent to another county for investigation. They still investigated even though it was going against the DHR rules. After the illegal investigation, we never saw the case worker again until 08/30/07, my 25th birthday. The case worker came back to our home and told us “due to lack of evidence, and a clean drug screening there WOULD NOT be a case opened” we thought the nightmare was over but little did we know that it was just the beginning. Here is my heart breaking story of how two childless women along with my abusive ex husband were able to team up and use one of the women’s abilities as a case worker to conduct an ILLEGAL investigation and take four happy children from a very loving family in order to have them as thier own.
My fiance’s sister (the realitive case worker) was able to pull her weight as a case worker and keep the case from being sent to another county, even though it was going against DHR rules. She knew the children would remain with us if the case was sent to another county and her chance at getting her two nephew’s would be gone. On 09/04/07 I delivered a healthy 8lb 2oz baby boy. Another drug test was done, me and the baby tested positive for the horrible drug meth. I had NEVER done meth and couldn’t understand how this could happen. I later was told by the lead nurse at the drug treatment place that the OTC cold medicine I had been taking was an ingreidient used to make the drug and that was how me and my baby tested positive but it was too late, the damage was done. They took my children on 09/05/07. My baby was healthy and had NO signs of being a “drug baby.” I didn’t get to bring my baby home. He went with the realitive case worker, along with his older brother. The realitive case worker tried to say the baby went through withdrawls but what she described were very common, normal newborn reflexes. Things anyone who has children would know about. If my baby had withdrawls I’m sure the doctor wouldn’t have allowed him to leave the hospital.
It makes me sick to know that me and my children have to go through this from OTC cold medicine used to make some stupid drug. The court papers were full of lies to cover up all the steps they had skipped. They even claimed they wasn’t aware of the conflict of interest, they claimed they were working with us to keep this from happening (remember the case worker only came to our home for the illegal investigation and again to tell us there was NO case) and they claimed that there WAS a case afterall. They placed two of my kids with my abusive ex husband and his (unable to get pregnant) wife and the other two with the childless realitive case worker. My oldest son has only known his dad and his dad’s side of the family since he was 4 years old, he just turned 7. He’s been with me and my family since the day he was born. So why did him and the baby go with the realitive case worker? Because the realitive case worker accused my family of making and supplying me with the drugs that I NEVER took.
My parents who have seen their grandkids their whole lives haven’t seen them at all since 09/05/07 based on lies told by the realitive case worker. Since then I have gone 1-2 months at a time without seeing the two with my ex and on the days I do see them two, I see them at the same time that I see my other two. So, that’s 1 hour a week to visit with my four children, who always ask “Mommy, when can I come home? Why can’t I see Mema and Papa? They said I can’t ever live with you again” I haven’t even had the chance to bond with my baby who is almost 8 months old now and thinks the realitive case worker is his mother. I have missed birthdays, and all holidays since sept. I didn’t get to see or talk with my children on Christmas, imagine how that felt, not only to me but to them. They are 7, 5, 4, and 7mths. I don’t have ANY photos of the two with my ex husband, I don’t know about school or things they have been doing everyday. I only have one photo of my baby and none of my oldest (the two with the realitive case worker) but she has lots of new photos of them all over her walls. She doesn’t keep us updated on anything. When did my baby roll over? what was his first baby food? what was my oldest son’s grade on his first spelling test? Things get worse everytime we go to court.
The realitive case worker lies about the visits and everything in-between to keep things from going forward and since she IS a case worker, the court believes her. They finally sent the case to another county but it doesn’t matter now. We have done everthing DFCS told us to do but they keep coming up with other stuff to add to it like due to my abusive marriage, I have PTSD and now have to see a thearapist for that before things can go forward. They gave two of my children to the man who caused me to have PTSD and Battered Womens Syndrome. How screwed up is that? I have passed ALL drug screenings and attended parenting and drug classes. DFCS has failed me and my children. They have allowed a childless case worker to lie and use her ability as a case worker to take our children as her own. I miss them and they miss me. I miss seeing them everyday. I miss the hugs, kisses, and the “I love you’s” PLEASE SOMEONE LISTEN, HEAR MY CHILDREN, HELP OUR FAMILY. This could be your family, don’t let it happen to anyone else. Thanks, Deanna
Name: Sherry Hayward Location: Stafford, VA
Email Addr: firstname.lastname@example.org
Children/Birth Date: Abby/1996
Date Separated: 2004
My experiences with Tandy Rinehart & Stafford county began in 2002. She was hired by my now ex husband, Timothy Stohler, to represent him in our divorce. He hired her after consulting with every good attorney in the area to prevent me from hiring them. She is a waste of oxygen. She did however manage to get my ex full custody of my daughter leaving me with “reasonable visitation”. Whatever that means. After our separation we had joint custody with almost equal time. She wrote to my attorney it seemed almost everyday with complaints & allegations. I suspect to financially break me. My daughter adjusted well & was still excelling in school. When it came time for the actual divorce hearing she was able to convince the circuit court judge Ann Hunter Simpson that I was unable to care for my daughter, that I wasn’t getting her to school, that I had never taken her to a doctor, that I wasn’t helping her complete her homework, that I was leaving her with a sitter, ect. The truth is I was completely capable of caring for my children mentally & financially. I was their primary care giver & stayed at home for 6 six years. I was a self employed successful real estate agent at the time & had the flexibility of making my own schedule. She was in school everyday on time with all of her homework. She was a good student with good grades. She hadn’t been to a doctor over that time because she wasn’t sick or due for any immunizations. If the judge had ever bothered to ask for proof she would have seen the truth. Instead after a 20 minute hearing she ruled that he would have full primary custody & I would have visitation every other weekend & on Wednesday afternoon. She also said any further filings would be heard in the juvenile court.
I immediately filed to get her back. At the very least I wanted joint custody. The judge at the next hearing was Bass. My daughter was also given a G.A.L., Julian Johnson. He spoke with me for about 10 minutes. When my court date finally came, rather than speaking for my daughter he only said that there has not been a “change in circumstance” therefore the order should remain the same, custody with the father.
Now keep in mind I had never been charged with any crime nor had I ever neglected or abused my children. I didn’t understand “material change in circumstance”. I unfortunately thought the juvenile court would really look out for my daughters best interest, with both parents.
I remarried in July 2004. I hired another attorney to help get her back. We never actually went to court because I didn’t want to risk losing more time with her. We settled with joint custody. The visitation remained the same except that I would have her every other week during the summer. My attorney at that time, Melanie Rice, advised me that a judge may not give me that. So I just took what I could get.
Every summer we take a family vacation. Summer of 2004 we went to Orlando. It wasn’t until 2 days before that my ex finally agreed to let our daughter go. What kind of parent wouldn’t allow their child a trip to Disney. Our attorneys argued for weeks before we finally got a memo from Tandy stating that he would allow her to go. Our court order at the time gave me 2 weeks for vacation. The summer of 2005 we went to Mexico. The summer of 2006 we were to go to the Dominican Republic. 2 days before we were scheduled to leave I received a call from Tim telling me I couldn’t take her. First he said she was sick, then he was afraid of terrorist, then he finally admitted the truth. My new husbands ex wife, Julie Fletcher, aka Officer Fletcher of the Fairfax County Police Dept. had gone out of her way to find & contact my ex to slander me at an attempt to get even with her ex who I am currently married to.
This is where it gets really confusing. My current husband was married previously & had 2 children. He was divorced long before I met him. His ex has constantly battled with him since they had divorced. She has used their children as pawns just as my ex is. On 2 prior occasions, before I married him she had tried to have him charged with child abuse. She even got their son to lie by promising expensive gifts. My husbands son one evening went into my purse & took a key to a fire box off my key ring. He went into the fire box & took the keys to my husbands gun safe. He then took a 45 out & began playing with it. He went into another location of the house & pried open a locked door which held the ammunition. He ended up loading the gun & accidentally shot himself. He was taken by ambulance to MWH & released that same night. Luckily the bullet went straight through & didn’t do any serious damage. He told the police how he had gotten the gun. They investigated & could see the pry marks on the door. They ruled the shooting an accident & no charges were filed. After he spent a few days with his mother, my husband ex, he completely changed his story. He said his father allowed him to play with loaded weapons. He said he lied at the hospital because he was afraid of his dad. Well having been charged with abuse 3 times by his son he has decided to just walk away & let his ex keep the kids. Of course this doesn’t help my situation.
After finding out she had contacted my ex & started another custody battle costing me thousands I called her & threatened her life. On July 4th 2006 when I picked up my daughter she began crying. She told me her dad wouldn’t be letting her come over anymore because Julie, my husbands ex had called him & told a lot of lies about me. That’s when I called her & threatened her life. First of all he should have never had this conversation with a 10 year old. She alleged that we had left our children alone while vacationing in Mexico, again on a weekend trip to VA beach, that we allowed all of the children to play with guns, that we were asleep when the shooting accident happened & the neighbors had to call the police. This was all sooo far from the truth.
She waited until August 16, the night before I was scheduled to leave the country to go to the magistrate & have a warrant put on me. I ended up only being convicted of a misdemeanor since my attorney explained to the prosecutor what the real deal was. She of course was present at my last court appearance testifying on my ex husbands behalf. He had decided as a result of the summer accident that he would use this to take away all of my visitation. While she testified she was caught lying more than once. Did I mention that she is a Fairfax County VA police officer? Yes & not only lying in court but making false police reports. Not just lying but being caught while she was on the stand! The investigating officer was present & testified & cleared up all of her lies.
His other witness, his 6th babysitter in 2 years, Bernadette Brewer, also was caught perjuring herself on the stand. She says she had a conversation with me regarding the care of my daughter on a Friday evening when I picked her up for my weekend. She said this after she said she always leaves at 4. My daughter doesn’t get picked up till 6 & my husband picks her up every Friday. Not only that but this Friday that she says she had this conversation with me at the front door I was actually broken down on I 95 near Quantico. & yes I had the tow receipt for proof. He had several other witnesses, none that we couldn’t handle. My daughters grades had also been dropping. Since he was taking me to court I decided to file to full custody. We also had several witnesses to testify on our behalf. With all of our witnesses & documentation we had proven that my daughter is not doing well in the current situation. Dropping grades being the biggest proof. She has also become very withdrawn in school per her teacher & not focused anymore.
We were also able to prove the several times he had denied me visitation violating the courts order. Our planned & agreed to vacation, Thanksgiving when he just took her out of town, many Wednesdays & some weekends. My daughter is also being neglected by him & the babysitter. He left her unattended in his truck, a Toyota Tacoma 4X4 while he went into a CVS pharmacy after dark & waited for a Rx. I agree with you when you this area a pedophiles paradise! The CVS is also down the street from crack central! The truck & our daughter were completely out of his view. A Mercedes ran a traffic light & went airborne through the intersection of 610 & Onville Rd & hit the truck my daughter was in so hard all the fuel & oil leaked out. My daughter by some miracle only got some scrapes & bruises. Her father is still unaware of what was going on. My daughter got out of the truck & began wandering around when a man approached her & asked where her parents were. She told him in the CVS. He went inside & shouted that there was an accident & a little girl was involved. That’s when her dad came out. They had to end up totaling the truck due to so much damage. That’s negligent parenting.
Well the G.A.L., Shana Gertner, & judge Gerald Dalton didn’t think it was big deal! Her babysitter is also incredibly neglectful. Her father, Timothy Stohler left our daughter with the sitter, Bernadette while she was sick. For 3 days my 10 year old daughter was medicating herself with antibiotics, Motrin & cough medicine. Her sitter never checked on her once. My daughter saw her only when she went downstairs from her room to get her meds & some chips. During my last court hearing Judge Dalton decided that her grades are dropping because I spend Wednesday evenings with her. He was obviously wrong since her grades didn’t improve & she was recommended for summer school this summer. He also decided that if I wanted to continue my every other week visitation during the summer that I must quit my job! Then he increased my child support from 137 per month to 477 per month. All based on my W-2 of 29K last year! Unbelievable! How can I pay any amount of support when I’ve been forced from my job? This judge has caused an incredible amount of stress to me & my family. We have been financially ruined. I’ve had to use credit cards & take out a 2nd on my house. Well now DCSE is reporting delinquencies on my credit & sending letters threatening to suspend my drivers license. I of course appealed the decision & had to pay 3K to the court to do so. My appeal hearing is set for Sept. 18th. After everything that’s happened I really don’t have much faith that this court will do anything.
Loving Mother of Abby
Name: Angelo O. Roberts Location: Meridian, ID
Email Addr: Iamsharris2002@aol.com
Children/Birth Date: Angelo O. Woodruff/1998
Date Separated: 2007
TILL TRYING TO DISMISS A TEMPORARY CUSTODY FILED BY STEP FATHER
I WAS THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER OF TWO CHILDREN. THE MOTHER AND I NEVER MARRIED BUT I HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN, PAID CHILD SUPPORT AND HAD VISITATION WITH THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS. ON MAY 8TH THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN MY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER ALONG WITH TWO OTHERS WERE KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. THE STEP FATHER RUSHED TO COURT AND STATED HE DID NOT KNOW MY WHERE ABOUTS, THAT I HAD NEVER SUPPORTED MY CHILDREN AND DID NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN AND WAS MADE TEMPORARY GUARDIAN OF MY SON. THE STEP FATHER ALONG WITH THE GRAND PARENTS AND SISTERS AND BROTHERS SIGNED STATEMENTS SAYING THEY STEP FATHER WOULD MAKE A BETTER GUARDIAN. I IMMEDIATELY OBTAINED AN ATTORNEY TO FILE TO DISMISS THIS ACTION. THE JUDGE STATED HE DID NOT WANT TO MOVE MY SON BECAUSE I HAD SOME DRUG PROBLEMS IN MY PAST. I WAS MADE TO TAKE A HAIR SAMPLE AND TO TAKE DRUG TESTS EVERY 72 HOURS. I REPORTED TO THE DRUG FACILITY AND WAS TOLD I DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH HAIR 1 1/2 INCHES. I TOOK THE DRUG TEST EVERY THREE DAYS WHICH WERE ALL NEGATIVE UNTIL THE COURT GAVE ME PERMISSION TO STOP. EACH COURT DATE WAS CANCELLED AND IT HAS BEEN ALMOST ONE YEAR AND I STILL DON’T HAVE MY SON. I FOUND THAT THE STEP FATHER HAD FILED A WRONGFUL DEATH LAW SUIT IN BEHALF OF MY SON. HE RECEIVED THE SETTLEMENT IN DEC 2007. THE STEP FATHER HAD HIRED A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO FOLLOW ME AND TRY TO FIND ME DOING SOMETHING WRONG. SINCE THEY COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING THEY HAVE CONTINUED TO STALL. ONE COURT DATE WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE THE GUARDIAN AD LITEM DAUGHTER HAD A GYMNASTIC MEET SO ANOTHER 3 WEEK WAIT. BEFORE THE CHILDRENS MOTHER WAS KILLED I WAS ALLOWED TO HAVE MY CHILDREN. NOW THAT THE MOTHER IS GONE THE STEP FATHER HAS KEPT ME FROM MY SON. I AM WILLING AND ABLE TO CARE FOR MY SON. I HAVE NEVER ABUSED OR ABANDONED MY CHILD BUT THE COURT SAYS IT WAS OKAY THAT THE STEP FATHER USED FALSE INFORMATION TO GET TEMPORARY GUARDIANSHIP WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR NO MORE THAN 6 MONTHS. MY CIVIL RIGHTS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED. I HAVE NEVER SIGNED AWAY MY PARENTAL RIGHTS BUT OUR COURT SYSTEM HAS VIOLATED MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT. I HAVE WRITTEN MANY LETTERS TO NEWSPAPERS, POLITICIANS, AND HAVE GOTTEN NO WHERE. I AM IN DEBT $25,000 WITH LEGAL FEES AND AM NO CLOSER TO GETTING MY SON BACK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR COURT SYSTEM AND HOW CAN WE FIGHT FOR RIGHTS OF PARENTS.
Name: Susan Fretwell Location: Canon City, CO
Email Addr: email@example.com
Children/Birth Date: Sarah/1993, Robert/2002, Haleigh/2006
Date Separated: February 2, 2006
The children are in the custody of my mother and her female partner. They are both in their mid 60s.
I am involved with a case with the Fremont County Colorado Department of Human Services. They have given my mother and her lesbian lover custody of my three children against my wishes. I feel they have held my children hostage by making my husband and I have humiliating supervised visits with them two times a week. I am convinced my mother and her partner have brainwashed our oldest child against us. This stems from the fact that I reported to Social Services that my mother’s partner has gone into their hot tub naked with our oldest. I am not alleging that any sexual abuse took place, but I think this is inappropriate behavior. The children’s Guardian Ad Litam and CPS is trying to make sure that my mother and her partner adopted the children. I do not think gay and lesbian adoption is legal in the state of Colorado, and it should not be in this case because my husband and I are loving Christian parents who have never abused or neglected any of our children.
It all began in August of 2005, when I allegedly placed my two year old son outside for a mere thirty seconds and a neighbor called the police on me. The police found no evidence of abuse or neglect on the child, but Social Services arrived and that is when the nightmare begun.
They came in the middle of the night while I was at work to find the children and my husband asleep. I don’t know what they were looking for, but they were accompanied by a police officer and there was no evidence of any wrongdoing. Next they continued their weekly visits because my mother told them my husband was an alcoholic and that I had mental problems. One particular bad day, I was having problems with my twelve year old daughter who hit me. I called them asking for help and they arrived at my home telling me I don’t know how to parent. I did lose my temper with them which made them even madder. In January 2006, they wrote a motion for placement of my children in a foster home (my mother’s and her lesbian partner). That document was full of lies. I can submit a copy if you so desire. Next, we had a court date of Feb. 2, 2006 in which my parental rights were terminated and custody was given to the Department. My children were never abused or neglected. I admit I made a bad choice in putting my son outside for thirty seconds, but I never thought it would lead to this. The judge speculated that the children ‘might be in danger’ but there is no evidence of abuse or neglect. The CPS workers also claimed that my oldest daughter was ‘parentified’ only because they saw her put on her little brothers coat and get him a glass of milk!
I was seven months pregnant at the time, and made to undergo a psychological examination by one of their appointed ‘specialists’. He mostly asked me questions about my sexual development which was irrelevant to my case. They later determined from , the ‘specialist’ that I was an ‘unfit mother’ and that I should not have my children back. I am sure he was being paid by DHS and told to say bad things about me in the report. Meanwhile, we were having supervised visits with our children, which was humiliating and degrading.
The next ordeal was the birth of my daughter Haleigh. I didn’t find out I was pregnant with her until I was nearly seven months along because I was insulin- dependent diabetic and the diabetes was masking the pregnancy symptoms. It was a traumatic pregnancy all along. To add insult to injury, DHS claimed they were going to take custody of the baby, whom they had no case against. Well, they invented one, and were in the hospital, even though I had to have a C-section, to snatch the baby from me. My mother took custody of the baby, who was born with a broken arm. They found a way to blame her low Apgar scores on me, and the fact that she was ‘failure to thrive’.
After the birth of my daughter, we hired two attorneys, one for me and one for my husband. They kept promising that we would get the kids back because this case did not have much merit. We kept going to court for ‘update hearings’, which I found to be degrading. Meanwhile, my husband had refrained from drinking, was taking regular UA’s that all turned out negative, and was taking Antibuse. They had the nerve to send me to Rocky Mountain Behavioral Health, which is a substance abuse clinic. I have NEVER had a substance abuse problem, and to this day, I have no idea of why they made me undergo humiliating UA’s in front of a counselor there.
We were still continuing the supervised visits twice a week with the children. DHS had brainwashed my mother not to have me visit the children in her home. Our caseworker decided that the baby and I weren’t ‘bonding properly’ (Gee, I wonder why?) and called in yet another ‘specialist’. This ‘specialist’ had nothing positive to say about my family and even had the gall to say that Haleigh ‘was not a normal baby’, when the doctor’s reports said otherwise. Meanwhile, we were jumping through all the hoops they required of us, such as attending parenting classes. We also had a dependency/neglect court hearing for custody of the baby, in which we plead guilty to dependency and neglect, on the advice of our council. Our council advised us that pleading not guilty and requesting a trial ‘would make the department very angry’.
Around Easter, they let the kids come home for the weekend, even though we still had supervised visits with them during the week. There was still no mention of them returning home for good even though my husband continued to have clean UAs and continue to take his Antibuse, and I was going to therapy at West Central Mental Health. Around that time, our caseworker’s husband died, and she was absent for a long period of time, approximately three weeks.
During the summer, we had yet another hearing in which the department allowed us to take our two youngest children to Texas to visit my father. The child support payments are killing my husband and me. I was only making $8 an hour at the time and they were taking $300 out of my monthly paycheck and $500 a month from my husband.
Meanwhile, all through the fall, we were still continuing to comply with the department’s conditions they had set for us, which still included my husband taking Antibuse and UAs (which all came out ‘clean’) An incident occurred in November where my four year old broke his finger and had to go to the emergency room. I had to be at work at 8 p.m. that evening. My husband and daughter got into an argument and my daughter ended up calling her grandmother to come pick her up. When my mother arrived, she claimed my husband had been under the influence, although he had been with me all evening in the emergency room and did not use anything. She told social services that he was under the influence and had to undergo random urine analysis (it had previously stopped earlier that month), but as usual, all his UAs came out clean.
We had yet another court hearing in December which we thought we were getting the children back permanently. They determined that we would be getting the kids back in late January, after six weeks. The home visitor who had to come every week was very critical of our house. I am no housekeeper because I work two jobs and am going to college for my Bachelor’s Degree. She also told me to ‘get rid of my cats’ because she claimed my two youngest were allergic, although no allergy tests were performed on the children.
We did not get our kids back in January because the social workers said it was ‘because of my husband’s attitude’. Then they changed it to the fact that our home wasn’t ‘baby proofed’. It is now March 8. We still don’t have our kids back even though we did baby proof the house. They are now alleging that my husband is drinking again. I told my counselor at West Central Mental Health that he was verbally abusing me and possibly drinking. I thought this was supposed to be confidential, protected under HIPPA, but she in turn, told DHS. Is this a violation of my Civil Rights? Our caseworker came over to my mother’s house a few weeks ago, when I was temporarily staying there, to ‘confront’ me that I am not being a parent. I strongly feel that this is harassment because she said that ‘I’m a bad mother’ and that ‘I’m not parenting my children’. This is totally false. True, I work two jobs and go to school, but I am not a criminal! I did yell back at her and told her what I think of the system. I have been a victim of the system for over a year now. They say they are ‘protecting the children’, but what about the parents? What about my rights? They keep leading me on, saying that we are going to get our kids back, but so far, nothing. I feel they are against straight, two-parent families in this county! By the way, why are they wasting so much taxpayer money actively pursuing a case where NO abuse or blatent neglect EVER EXISTED?
In April of 2007, my attorney has informed my husband and me that the children’s Guardian Ad Litem had hired a private investigator who had supposedly seen my husband drinking. Is this even legal? This is pushing the boundaries of government spying to a new level! We had a meeting with DHS along with my attorney on May 2, 2007. One of our ‘caseworkers’ also distorted, I mean reported, that she had seen my husband drinking at the bowling alley (he bowls every Monday night). Our case is only a dependency/neglect. I feel that the government is taking this way too far.
Well, on June 26th of this year, the court decided to give my mom & her ‘partner’ custody of our kids. She calls all the shots now. She’s upset that my friend protested outside Social Services the day of one of our hearings. DHS was mad about this, but who cares? They’re angry anyway. I feel totally defeated and violated by the system. The family court judge is rumored to be a lesbian and always rules in favor of DHS. She never allows any evidence in favor of the parents in that courtroom. Another thing, we have learned from a source close to DHS, is that they planned not to give us the kids back all along. There needs to be some major class action lawsuits filed against them! Sunday July 29, 2007 My husband and I just got back from visiting our kids at my mother’s house. My oldest daughter informed us that Karen Moffitt, our caseworker was over to visit at my mother’s house today (Sunday). She brought her grandchildren over and were riding horses. My understanding is that caseworkers, social workers, etc. are NEVER allowed to have a social relationship with anybody involved in their case! I am currently attending the University of Phoenix in CO Springs, and have had an ethics in human services class a while back. I specifically remember that rule! I don’t know whether or not to mention this to my attorney, since he basically told us to let my mom and her ‘partner’ Pat have custody of our 3 kids. We’re only allowed to see them twice a week on Wed. & Sun. I believe that this is a total legal/ethics violation. Do you know anybody I can speak to about this? This county is so corrupt that it probably won’t do any good at this point.
I want others to hear of the agony my husband and I are going through. Our only goal is to get our children back and for us to be a family again. I do not want them taught lesbian values and that lesbianism is normal. My childhood was hell. I was abused by my mother’s different ‘lovers’ and I have had to battle depression and anxiety my whole life. If and when we do get our children back, we will return ‘home’ to Florida where we have family and friends. I actually felt much safer while I was in DC last August attending the Equal Parenting Rally, than I do here in backwards Canon City!
Name: Donna Vallone Location: Lancaster, CA
Email Addr: firstname.lastname@example.org
Children/Birth Date: Matt Lewis 1999, Nik Lewis 1999, Destiny Lewis 2000, Trevor Lewis 2002
Date Separated: 2007
Children are still being held.
I am the gramma for the Children Listed above and I created this website so the children can find information in later years why mommy & daddy did not rescue them and take them home.http://www.freewebs.com/kidsstolen/
Name: Joe Walsh Location: Rosendale, NY
Email Addr: Walshjk2003@juno.com
Children/Birth Date: John/2000, Gabby/1997, Leigh1995, Luisa/1993
Date Separated: 2000
Reunited. My wife had a case of depression due to the umbilical cord knot during the term for my son John. Her body went haywire and so did the marriage. John was born (bearly) and Post Birth depression kicked in. Fight or Flight and it was Flight. Hudson Valley Leagal Aid sought action against me. Lost Home and 3 years.
Her Lesbian lawyer made up stuff and the Kids first Lawyer (Clare)DID NOT EVEN SEE THE KIDS for over a year and a half but knew what they wanted???? After replacing both witches, things got worse due to me fighting Pro-Se. In NY you are a paying penis and no more. Court did not allow me to see my kids. I fought the Court for 3 years . My wife was a pawn of it and I fought them not so much her. Just before a final divorce decree. My wife said enough. I Had just finished telling the Judge that I did not fear jail( the Threat from bench) I feared looking into my kids eyes and them asking me why did I not fight for them.
I told the Judge the 2nd amendment was made so a man can protect his family forces which mean to do his family harm. Weather it is another country or a government gone wrong. If jailed I would have to be released at some point and to fear that man Jailed for love of his family. 3 years later my family is still paying the price of injustice. We are whole but will not forget what happened. I always ask for strenth (like John) to be calm over what happened. I am becoming more peaceful as time goes on. Beware of the system that makes once partners into enemies. Our children deserve more. Peace is a well armed sheep living between two wolves.
Name: LORAINE ANTONSON/THOMPSEN Location: Florence, KY
Email Addr: ANTONSON25@EXCITE.COM
Children/Birth Date: Allycia Marie Sigler/David Karl Antonson III
Date Separated: 02/12/93
MY KID’S DAD, (DAVID KARL ANTONSON JR.) HIS BROTHER (DONALD W. ANTONSON) DECIDED TO MOVE TO LAFFAYETTE LOUISIANA FROM ARKANSAS. ON FEBRUARY 05,1993 IN LAFFAYETTE THERE WAS A LOT OF RAIN ONE AFTERNOON AND IT TURNED INTO A FLOOD. WE ALL MOVED NO CAR CAUSE A SWITCH WENT OUT BEFORE WE LEFT TOWN, SO MY COUSINS GIRLFRIEND GAVE US A RIDE DOWN THERE JUST US AND A FEW CLOTHES. WE GOT THERE UNDER THE IMPRESSION TO HAVE A SAFE PLACE TO STAY WITH OUR KIDS ALLY AND DAVY, BUT TO NO AVAIL IT NEVER GOES THAT WAY SO WE WERE 10 HRS FROM HOME NO CAR AND MY COUSIN’S BOSS’S WIFE JUST FOUND OUT THAT HER HUSBAND HAD BEEN BUYING COKE WITH HER COLLEGE MONEY THAT SHE GAVE HIM TO KEEP HIS BUSINESS AFLOAT. SO NEEDLESS TO SAY SHE WAS MAD KICKED US ALL OUT IMMEDIATELY SO MY BOYS DECIDE TO GO GET A TRUCK FOR US TO PUT OUR KIDS IN…
THEY COME GET US WE DRIVE IN A STOLEN VEHICLE TO FLORIDA FROM LAFAYETTE LA. THEN WE GO ALL THE WAY TO THE KEYS. WE START TO COME UP THRU THE EVERGLADES AND WE FIND A RESORT YOU COULD CAMP AT FOR TWO WEEKS WITHOUT PAYING. SO WE WERE GETTING LOW ON FUNDS OUR MOM SENT US WESTERN UNION MONEY AND IT WAS A SUNNY BRIGHT DAY TOWN WAS ONLY 50 MILES AWAY AND THE BOYS DECIDE TO GO TO GET THE MONEY FROM WESTERN UNION, THEY LEAVE US AT THE PLACE AND WE FISH, NIGHT COMES AND MY BOYS DON’T COME BACK NO SIGN OF THEM WELL I WAS 19 YEARS OLD AND TWO KIDS AT THE TIME 2 1/2 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND 8 MONTH OLD SON 2000 MILES FROM HOME DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE AND I WAS SCARED TO DEATH LONELY AND DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT EXCEPT PRAY THE BOYS WOULD COME BACK THE NEXT DAY….
SO WHEN THEY DIDN’T THE ONLY THING I KNEW TO DO NOT THAT I WAS ONLY A BABY MYSELF NOT HAVING TO DO NOTHING EVER SINCE THE KIDS WERE BORN WAS TO WONDER WHAT WAS FOR DINNER. I NEVER HAD TO MAKE HARD DECISIONS FOR MY FAMILY THE KIDS DAD DID ALL THAT. SO..I KNEW THAT THE FOREST RANGER CHECKED EVERYONE’S SPACE EVERYDAY TO WRITE DOWN THE LICENSE PLATES IN HIS LOG.. SO THE NEXT MORNING AFTER WE GOT ATE ALIVE BY FLORIDA MOSQUITOES I STOPPED HIM AND TOLD HIM MY BOYS DIDN’T COME BACK ALL NIGHT I KNEW NO ONE FROM FLORIDA AND THAT I WAS 2900 MILES FROM HOME.. PLEASE CHECK TO SEE IF THEY WERE ARRESTED OR HURT THE NIGHT BEFORE KNOWING SOMTHING HAD HAPPENED
I ASKED IF HE COULD DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME HE SAID SURE HE WOULD TAKE US TO THE NEAREST SUB STATION AND HE DID 50 MILES TO NAPLES, FLORIDA SO RIGHT BEFORE WE GET THERE I SEEN MY BROTHER IN LAW WALKING DOWN THE HYWAY AND NOT THINKING I SAID THERE IS MY BROTHER PLEASE STOP AND LET ME TALK TO HIM NOT REALIZING THAT HE WAS ON THE RUN FROM A PAROL VIOLATION OUT OF COLORADO.
I ONLY COULD THINK IN MY MIND THAT THAT WAS MY FAMILY AND I WAS SO FAR FROM HOME AND I FEARED THAT THEY WERE DEAD CAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON THEY WOULD HAVE HAD TO HAVE NOT TO COME BACK TO ME SO ONCE I REALIZED THAT IT WASNT TO BRIGHT TO STOP WITH THE COPS I JUST TOLD HIM I WOULD MEET HIM BACK AT CAMP AND WE PROCEEDED TO HEAD TO THE SUB STATION.. ONCE WE GOT THERE THEY TOLD ME THAT MY KIDS DAD HAD BEEN ARRESTED FOR LOITERING AND PROWLING SO HE WOULD GO TO COURT PAY A 40.00 FINE AND GET OUT OF JAIL.. MY KIDS DAD AND HIS BROTHER TOLD ME IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO US THAT I WAS TO TELL THE COPS THAT I STOLE THE TRUCK AND SINCE I HAD NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE BEFORE THAT IT WOULD BE OK SINCE THEY BOTH HAD BEEN TO PRISON BEFORE AND SO THATS JUST WHAT I DID..
OF COURSE THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE ME AND THEY WENT BACK DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND SNAGGED MY COUSIN TOO. SO SITTING ACROSS FROM JHONNY AND MY BABY’S GETTING PHOTOGRAPHES TAKEN OF THEIR LIL BITTEN BODIES THEY ARRESTED ME AND JHONNY AND TOLD ME THAT WHEN DAVID GOT OUT OF JAIL LATER THAT AFTERNOON THAT HE COULD GO GET OUR KIDS…. WELL THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY NIGHTMARE THEY LOCKED US ALL UP SO IN FLORIDA YOU GET TO KNOW THE INFO OF THE PERSON OF WHOM U DEPRIVE OF THEIR PROPERTY IT JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE A SHERRIFFS TRUCK THAT MY COUSIN KNEW AND HAD BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIS DAUGHTER IN LOUISIANA, THATS HOW MY COUSIN KNEW THE KEYS WERE ALWAYS IN THE IGNITION WHEN THEY WENT OVER THE RICE PATTIES/SWAMPS TO GET IT…
THE FIRST CHANCE I GOT TO WRITE TO THIS MAN I DID AND I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO US FROM THE BEGINNING AND I TOLD HIM IF WE HAD OF NOT BEEN IN THE KIND OF TROUBLE WE WERE IN AND THE WATER WAS SO FLOODING SO DEEPLY THAT IF I HAD OF LET GO OF MY DAUGHTER WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR THE BOYS TO COME WITH ANYTHING MY DAUGHTER OR MY SON WOULD HAVE DROWNED IN THE DITCH OF 3 1/2 FOOT DEEP RUSHING RAIN WATER….NEEDLESS TO SAY IT TOOK 25 DAYS BEFORE THE SHERRIF GOT THE LETTER AND HE DROPPED ALL THE CHARGES AGAINST ALL THREE OF US.
I GOT OUT OF JAIL 2000 MILES FROM HOME ALONE AND HITCHHIKED 40 MILES TO IMMOKOLEE FLORIDA TO BAIL OUT MY KIDS DAD FROM JAIL AND KNEW THAT JHONNY WOULD NOT BE SEEING US FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS DO ONCE I GOT TO MY KIDS DAD OUR REAL JOURNEY THROUGH THE COURT SYSTEM REALLY BEGAN.. THAT NEXT WEEK WE WENT TO COURT AND WE TALKED TO THE JUDGE AND THRU OUR COURT REPRESENTED ATTORNEY HE SPOKE FOR US AND DID NOT SAY WHAT WE WANTED TO SAY AND BEFORE WE KNEW IT.. EVEN THOUGH ALL CRIMINAL CHARGES WERE DROPPED AGAINST US WE HAD NO OTHER REASON FOR THE COURT OR SYSTEM TO LET US HAVE OUR KIDS BACK WE WERE NOT RESIDENTS OF FLORIDA
WE WERE RESIDENTS OF ARKANSAS AND HAD A HOME THERE AND JUST MADE SOME BAD MISTAKES OF JUDGMENT TO DECIDE TO DRIVE INTO FLORIDA WAS THE FIRST MISTAKE WE MADE.. WELL THEY TOLD US WE HAD TO LEAVE FLORIDA AND GO HOME WITHOUT OUR KIDS AND THAT WE HAD TO GO HOME AND PROVE TO THE COURTS THAT WE WERE GOOD PARENTS FROM ARKANSAS WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT I BLAMED MY KIDS DAD FOR THE LOSS OF OUR BABIES AND OUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED WITH HIM GOING TO IDAHO AND ME GOING TO ARKANSAS AND FIGHTING FOR MY KIDS THERE …18 MO PASSED AND I DID THE PARENTING CLASSES AND I DID THE ADOLESCENT ONE FIRST 12 WEEKS OF IT GRADUATED AND THEY TOLD ME WHEN I WENT TO COURT THAT I TOOK THE WRONG ONE I NEEDED INFANT TO TODDLER NOT TODDLER TO ADOLESCENTS…12 MORE WEEKS OF PARENTING AND COMPLETED THAT THEN THEY DID A HOME STUDY THEN MY KIDS DAD HAD ENDED UP GETTING A 10 YEAR PRISON SENTENCE BECAUSE HE WENT OFF THE AIR OVER MY KIDS OUR BREAKUP
AND THERE I WAS ALONE AGAIN NO KIDS NO MAN AND ALONE AT THE UNSYMPATHETIC MERCILESSNESS OF THE FLORIDA COLLIER COUNTY HRS COURT AND THEY TERMINATED MY RIGHTS AND THAT WAS IN 1993 IT IS ONE OR TWO YEARS LEFT BEFORE MY KIDS TURN 18 AND I AM READY I HAVE DONE EVERY KIND OF STIPULATION BEFORE THEY TERMINATED MY RIGHTS I NEVER FAILED A DRUG OR ALCOHOL TEST I DIDN’T DO DRUGS THEN. BUT SINCE MY LOSS OF MY KIDS I ENDED UP INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL LOSING MY GUTS HEART AND LIFE THE SYSTEM STOLE MY PARENTHOOD RIGHT TO RAISE MY KIDS
I WAS AGOOD LIL MOM AND BEFORE THAT HAPPENED TO ME I FEEL THAT I WAS ON A GOOD PATH OF A NICE LIFE AND ONE MISTAKE NO CHANCE OF MAKING IT RIGHT AND YEARS LATER NO WORD FROM NO ONE AND NOW ALL I CAN DO IS BE READY TO SEE MY KIDS WHEN THEY ARE 18 YEARS OLD IF THEY WANT TO SEE ME OR HEAR WHAT MY EXCUSES ARE BUT IT HAS BEEN A TRAGEDY THAT THEY COULD ONLY SAY THAT MY KIDS WERE WELL LOVED NURTURED AND WELL-BONDED AND THAT WAS ALL THE COURTS SAID ABOUT MY INABILITY TO CARE FOR THE CHILDREN…
MMMMM THAT JUST DOESN’T SEEM FAIR STILL AFTER ALL THIS TIME AND I AM NOT KEEPING ANY PART OF THE TRUTH FROM NO ONE I JUST HOPE SOMEDAY THEY WILL LOVE ME AND UNDERSTAND THAT THE SYSTEM STOPPED ROBBED MY MOTHERHOOD FROM ME AND ARE WILLING TO START ANEW WITH ME AT THE AGE 34???PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER MOTHERS MAYBE IT WILL GIVE THEM A SENSE OF HOPE NOW I AM IN LAW SCHOOL AND I AM DOING THE PLAN TO BE AS SECURE IN MY FUTURE FOR WHEN THE DAY OF REUNITING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER….PEACE LOV LORAINE MARIE ANTONSON I GOT MARRIED AND NOW MY LAST NAME IS THOMPSEN .ANTONSON25@EXCITE.COM :}~
Name: Darla LeNoir Kujawinski Location: Florence, KY
Email Addr: Keysma1@yahoo.com
Children/Birth Date: Keyarah, 1996
Date Separated: January 6,2005
Moving to have Divorce/Custody vacated under Civil Rule 60.
Basically, my ex moved both my daughter and I out the state of Washington in June of 2003 to Illinois, we were suppose to move to Kentucky, he however, left us in Illinois and flew back to Washington.
In September of 2003, I was served with divorce papers that claimed “I took our daughter out the state against his wishes and abandoned the home, I explained to my attorney this was not the case and in fact my ex was suppose to move to KY as well, in fact Washington shouldn’t have jurisdiction because my daughter and I live in KY, however, he never argue this before the courts out there. In fact my attorneys didn’t do anything except spend my money. In a nut shell my ex gained custody form a summary judgment, which I still finding hard to believe.
The Washington Court parceled my child as if she was a piece of property, which really rubs me the wrong way, I think our family court system is a big joke! The judges are even worse, I had to hire a people locator to find him and for the courts to take my child from a very safe, loving, stable and grounded environment and place her with a man who is on record as being unstable, homeless and indigent is a gross miscarriage of justice, not to me, but to an innocent child.
This is the same child, who begged me to find him, he chose to not to have anything to do with her, only after find out she had an inheritance due her, did he want to have physical custody. He has a total of 4 children, 2 he gave away, his son he walked away from when he was 8 and came back into his life when he was 20. There are many things I can tell you regarding my case, however, what’s the point, until we straighten out the family court system, our children will be forever affected by their decisions.
Name: Denise McCorkle Location: Garland, TX
Email Addr: email@example.com
Children/Birth Date: Kira, 1995
Date Separated: Nov 29, 2001
Trial pending. Been through mediation on 1/24/05, social study from 6/22/04-12/8/04.
I separated from my ex in Oct. 1999. We started out nice enough, but then he decided he wanted to keep the house and he kicked me, my older daughter (17), and our daughter (4), out of the house. We decided that since he had sole custody of his two girls (9 & 7) which he got by default (he sent his first ex papers to an address she was not living at-so she didn’t show up for court!), then I would keep Kira. He had been abusing his girls since I met him.
My family had reported him to CPS several times for the bruises they saw on his girls. He would beat them with a board, belt, remote, anything he could find, except his hand. He continued to abuse his girls after we separated, but no one was allowed to see them so we didn’t know how badly they were being hurt. This lasted about a year when he decided that he didn’t want to pay me child support. He moved to another city abut 30 minutes away and proceeded to alienate his two girls against me (PAS). He got an atty and filed for divorce seeking sole custody of Kira. I was served papers in Oct. 2000.
When I showed up for court (Dallas county-Texas) my ex served me with a motion for drug testing. He wanted me to submit to hair, blood and urine tests. The associate judge only ordered me to do a UA. When this came back negative, my ex insisted that I be random UA’d for 6 months & hair tested. The judge disagreed. With persistence, my ex & his atty got the judge to agree to random UA’s for 3 months. He never ordered me to take one until AFTER his time was up. I was granted temporary custody and he had standard visitation. This worked out fine as far as my daughter’s emotional well-being was concerned. She was happy with the arrangement and loved being with us both. He didn’t like paying me child support and having to pick her up from my house.
We were ordered to do a social study and this is where he got his best lies in. This social worker was biased in his favor and it didn’t matter what he said to her. Him and his two daughters told the exact same story (lies) about me being the abusive parent to them based on his brainwashing them for the past year and a half. The report shows that they used the exact same words and the girls said I beat them with a board with nails in it! This should have tipped the social worker off that something sounded really wrong about that story.
The report recommended that he get custody and that I have to take a hair test, which he already paid for. He chose the hair testing place and he knew the manager that worked there. The hair test came back showing positive for all types of drugs. I was not taking any drugs at that time, but I had done some in my past. My hair was very long (to my waist), and if the sample is not sent in it can be tested from the wrong end, which can test back many years, instead of the 110 days from the scalp end of the hair. I’m sure that this is what happened. Nevertheless, we requested CPS records to show that he had a history of physical/emotional child abuse of his two daughters. The judge refused to look at this evidence as it happened over two years prior to this court date.
Needless to say, the judge believed my ex when he said I was a drug addict and she granted him possession of our daughter (6 1/2 yrs. old). I was made supervised by my mother until I had a negative hair test and ordered to do hair testing every 90 days, be random UA’d by my ex whenever he felt like it, and ordered to pay child support & health ins.
This was Nov. 29, 2001. My ex had already had her for Thanksgiving, so I asked for Christmas. The judge said ok. Well, since there were no papers written up by my ex & his atty, he said I didn’t get Christmas and denied me seeing her until after Christmas day. At first, he would let me call her whenever I wanted to, then he started calling me horrible names, and yelling/cussing at me over the phone in front of our daughter. He began making derogatory statements about me and had his family do the same to my baby.
He started telling me that the divorce papers didn’t say I could call her and not to call her anymore. But then he started limiting my phone contact with her to once a week for 10 minutes. He threatened me that if I called more than that, he would cut off his phone because he said he doesn’t have to have one anyway. He would call me at the last minute on my Wednesdays to tell me that Kira was sick and I couldn’t see her. He did this several times.
Than the abuse started. He began by hitting her in the arm, which I promptly reported to CPS. They refused to do anything because they said it was a civil matter and I need to take him to court & let the judge do something about it. I let them know and sent them copies of the divorce decree that I had a permanent injunction put in that states he cannot issue corporal punishment to Kira, nor can he abuse her. But this didn’t matter to them at all.
I have since found me a reputable place to do my hair testing, and all have come back negative. So I have been unsupervised since July 2002. My ex is now saying that I am having the hair tests altered, which leads me to believe that he had something to do with the positive test results, and has filed a motion to modify stating that he now wants sole custody and to have me return to the original hair testing place to be tested. We were ordered to do another social study and the social worker ordered me to go to the first place for another hair test also. So I went, and much to my surprise, it came back negative!
I supplied the social worker with all CPS records (the first social study decided custody without even waiting to get these records, and I wasn’t taking that chance this time), and I had my references (the only ones they would allow were 3- and only 1 could be from family), and 1 was from my entire church, and I also had my boss’s recommendation. I supplied her with a history of our relationship, and her form for supplemental information. Come to find out, my ex supplied her with NOTHING! Not one person to back up his lies, not any supplemental information that is part of their paperwork, not one thing on his behalf.
This new social worker talked with our daughter and she told her that she wanted to live with me. She told her that she was afraid of her father because he yells and hits the other two girls, but this woman said that I was pushing her to say these things because that’s what my ex told her. The entire report was negative against him, she stated that he was controlling, that by his actions, he has a problem with communicating with me, etc., but she STILL said that my baby should live with him & I should get extended standard visitation and get to talk to her for 3x week for 15 minutes! This is absolutely ridiculous. Our daughter is 9-10 in May and no one will listen to her preference because they say she it “too young”.
She has to deal with being called ugly names “fat”, etc. every day and told she needs to go on a diet. This has caused his oldest daughter, now 14, to be over 160 pounds! He is causing our daughter to be overweight because of this same treatment. She was just fine when she lived with me and going to dance lessons, rehearsals, beauty pageants, and girl scouts. All of this was taken away from her when he got possession and no regard whatsoever was given Kira when she didn’t want to lose her friends, teachers, and especially her “Momma”.
My ex has taken me to court several times for motions that were based on his lies. One time was a motion to enforce saying that I didn’t pay my child support, when he had already received and probably spent the money! The judge paid no attention to this, just proceeded to reprimand me in open court based on his lies!
We just went through a mediation, which with an abuser is absolutely a waste of time. He refuses to cooperate or compromise. He wants me to not get more time with our daughter and him not to have to change a thing. But, he still wants sole custody! He has nothing to base this on, no change in circumstances, nothing. Just to keep me paying money to an atty, and having to appear in court.
Now we are having a trial date set and I will finally be given the chance to either request a jury, or at least try to get some of my information on the record. This judge, Brenda Green-256th District Court, has no idea that he has been found RTB (reason to believe) for physical/emotional abuse of his two girls and medical neglect of our daughter Kira in the past two years. He has been reported to CPS over 14 times since 1994, and no criminal charges ever brought against him.
Hopefully, the judge will finally listen to the truth, my witnesses, look at my documentation, tapes of phone conversations, and see for herself what an abusive father he really is.
Name: Wesley Smith Location: Midland, Michigan
Email Addr: firstname.lastname@example.org
Children/Birth Date: Liam Smith, 1997
Date Separated: Jan 3, 2005
Still fighting divorce/custody in circuit court after 2.5 years in court. Agreed parenting plan was after my wife finished her MBA I would stay home and care for son. Worked well until she slept with a co-worker and filed for divorce/custody. I now have no visitation. See http://www.liamsdad.org for more info.
I think Civil Disobedience is necessary to get the system changed.
Name: Michael Smith Location: Desert Hot Springs, California
Email Addr: email@example.com
Children/Birth Date: Angela Aguilar Smith, 1999
Date Separated: April 5, 2000
I have a beautiful 3 year old daughter who is very intelligent, talented and charming. I conceived this daughter with a Philippine woman I met in the Philippines who convinced me that she loved me and would stay with me the rest of my life if I brought her to the U.S.A.
Using an I.N.S. fiance visa, I brought her into the country, but she only lived with me a short time after the child was born, and left me and fabricated a huge campaign of abuse, claiming all kinds of things I supposedly did to her and to the child. This was her plan from the beginning to use me to get into the USA, and then later, claim abuse and get a free green card. This has been a 3.5 year long battle with the Family Law and Juvenile Courts constantly trying to oppress me and separate me from my child.
Through it all, I never wavered in trying to get my child back in my life so she would not feel that her father abandoned her. Currently the I.N.S. is preparing a deportation case against the mother (they have advised me of that) and I am now in the Family Law court attempting to get sole custody. You can read more about this situation at my website: http://www.michael-smith.org/ and I will be updating that website periodically with more information. My heart goes out to all of you.
Name: Kristine Pohl Location: Utica, NY
Email Addr: firstname.lastname@example.org
Children/Birth Date: Richard 1989, Amber 1991
Date Separated: February 1993
During my childhood I met a man who swept me off my feet. I was the age that my daughter Amber is today. We were married and had 2 beautiful children during the marriage one of which is not his biologically but because he was in the U.S army she carries his name so we could bring her back to the U.S she was born in Panama City Panama.
Some time afterward our marriage deteriorated quickly we were both having affairs and needless to say hated one another. I left my husband in January of 1993 and moved to Florida with our children with his consent he even paid for the tickets. I allowed the children to talk to him often running up a large phone bill for my roommate and found myself missing him. He informed me after I found out about another affair (this one my best friend) that he wanted a divorce. I was relieved in a way but he made a comment that angered me my silence at his divorce proposal was too much for him and he asked if I was going to do anything stupid (yup) I openned my big mouth.
I don’t know Richard there are a lot of knives in the house (stupid me) well he hung up called the police I was devastated and called my mother who allowed me to marry at 16 crying and telling her how sorry I was for being such a thorn in her side. At that time I got a knock on my front door it was the Tampa police dept. my children were sitting at the table eating lunch as I cried to my mother to make a really long story short they B.A.K.E.R acted (involuntme that night. My children stayed at my roommates mothers during the day and with my roommate at night. It wasn’t long before my Ex was calling my roommates mother less than 24 hours but, she brought the children to see me in the nut house where I didn’t belong and my children definitely didn’t. HRS in Tampa at that time retrieved my children and took temporary custody.
I was informed at that time a day later that my husband had called police informing them that I was going to commit a double homicide and then commit suicide (not true). I was informed by the woman that upon my release I would get my children back (of course they lied) I was released several days later longer than the 72 hours I was first confined to however I didn’t get my kids I had no numbers and no way of really knowing where my children were. My roommate retrieved me and we began to look I was allowed one visit a month with my children (they were too busy for me to have any more than that). I then found that my children were in a home with a woman of color, not that I am a prejudiced person, but my children are white and this added severely to there confusion — mind you they were only 2 and 4 at the time.
I went to court several time and had conditions placed upon me that any person would have trouble complying with let alone an uneducated 20 year old who has only been a mom. I needed a bigger house a better paying job parenting classes homemaker classes and of course a psych evaluation. The entire time my children in HRS custody to my sheer horror
My ex did not have contact with his children the entire time and after an abusive situation between the foster mother and my 4 year old son he finally came to Florida and got his children it was the end of June 2003. Five months later Richard was in the military and was told he could get leave and pick them up at any time he chose not to. Richard got the kids and the three of them returned to Virginia until his military tour was over. Christmas 1993 was horrible Richard and I discussed me coming to Virginia to visit the kids and it was set and fine when I called to make final arrangements I was informed that they had moved and no forward address was left. 6 weeks later my sister in law in California called me and told me the kids were safe I was overjoyed but, I knew the battle had just begun he wasn’t allowing me to talk to them like we had agreed on Saturdays and they were completely across the country.
He filed for divorce and got full legal custody of both children 560 a month in child support and I got supervised visitation at the San Diego YWCA which I had no way of doing. He divorced me without me signing a single piece of paper or stepping foot in a court room and got custody of both children without me being able to say a solitary word to anyone of authority.
Fast forward we all live in NY both of us original to the area and we are in court more than we aren’t I have supervised visitation with my Daughter Amber but will probably never get that far with my son we go to trial on the 14 of August 2003 our judge is an advocate of fathers rights and has done some public speaking in that forum. Once again I am at the mercy of the court I have proven I am a good mother to my youngest Child Tyler my saving grace without him I would have trouble waking each day. the day my children were taken was the worst day of my life I will never experience another pain as severe as long as I live even the loss of my mother pales in comparison. I have learned many things in 10 years but the best lesson is that you should never give up. I am not weak I was young uninformed and ! dirt poor. Today’s society thinks a woman without her children is a monster I am a mother devoted loving kind and striving to be the best I can for all three of my children none is more special than another yet I am lost without my first born and only daughter.
Mommy loves you Richard Amber and Tyler! I fight for all three you are the reason my fight will go on you are all special!
Name: James Quirk Location: Dayton, Ohio
Email Addr: email@example.com
Children/Birth Date: Andrew Quirk, 1988
Date Separated: July 28, 1998
Several months ago, I saw him in a very agitated state and he blurted out statements like: “I don’t have any rights” “Why don’t kids get very many rights?”
“If she persists in programming Andrew to denigrate his father, the visits will once again result in severe psychiatric symptoms that put Andrew at high risk for sell-destructive behavior. (i.e. suicide)” Judith Linzer PhD
It is my desire to bring attention to court assisted alienation of millions of parents and their children around the world, fathers like myself will be alienated from their children by a judicial system that is sanctioning the abduction of hundreds of thousands of children. I have not seen anything that would lead me to believe that the courts in this case have any real concern for the welfare of my son and thus my need to present our case publicly and because its so well documented, be used as an instrument of reform. Please take time to read this extremely severe example of court sanctioned PAS. THE SYSTEM IS BROKE, ITS TIME TO FIX IT This is long but what makes it unique is that the family court mediator, custody evaluator and my son’s doctor clearly document it. The following text is taken from that documentation. In my response to the divorce petition I warned the court, that my son’s allegations of abuse were prompted and coached by his mother and that it needed to end and that my wife and her family had been brainwashing my son. This in order to satisfy their need to punish me, alleging drug and alcohol abuse. My ex-wife hired a Ph.D. to treat Andrew and builds an alliance with her against me. She repeatedly refused to meet with me to discuss Andrew’s treatment and for me to give her a broader since of whom Andrew was by meeting both of his parents. She told me if I wanted to speak to her about Andrew, I would have to pay her for a session. She said she wanted to be able to provide a safe neutral environment for Andrew to vent. However the neutrality quickly ended as she began supporting the allegations conveyed through Andrew thus believing me to be the monster they portrayed
In response to the allegations the court ordered Family Court Services to investigate. The following is what was reported to the court:
Findings Of Family Court Services Reports: Mr. Q’s health care professionals reveal no evidence of recent drug abuse or inappropriate medication- seeking or medication-mixing. Dr. Cohen reports that he reviewed Mr. Q’s complete pharmacy profile through the Kaiser system and found no reason for concern about his medication use. It should be noted that since the March 10, 1997 Court hearing, Mr. Q has undergone random drug- testing through Terra Firma. Test results were sent directly to Family Court Services; all results were negative for tested drugs and for alcohol. Andrew shows a somewhat disturbing connection with Ms Q’s feelings about Mr Q, an the family’s separation. It is not at all clear how much Andrew’s thoughts and feeling are being either consciously or unconsciously impacted by Ms. Q’s thoughts and feelings. Based on my meetings with the parties and the child and my conversation with collateral professionals, I respectfully make the following recommendations to the Court: That the family promptly undergoes a full custody evaluation, including psychological testing of both parties. The following psychologists would be among appropriate referrals for this matter: Philip Stahl, Ph.D., Milton Schaefer, Ph.D., and Erica Meyers. Ph.D., Susan Bergmann, Ph.D. That, pending the completion of the evaluation, Ms. Q continues to have primary physical custody of Andrew and that Mr. Q have visitation. That Mr. Q continue to refrain from consuming any alcohol during his visitation time with Andrew and for at least eight hours before visiting with the child. That Mr. Q continues to have telephone access to Andrew while the child is in Ms Q care. That both parties exercise extreme care by refraining from any negative or judge-mental conversation about the other party with Andrew or within Andrew’s hearing. Ruthanne Allen, Ph.D. Family Court Counselor (June 1997)
Please note that the report submitted to the courts both expels the allegation made against me. And backs my warnings that my son was being influenced by his mother and her family. As recommended by the mediator we choose an evaluator, and were told that it would take approximately three months to complete. The courts refused to allow overnight visits until the evaluation was completed, allowing only twelve hours per week. It took about a month before our first meetings with the evaluator, and then due to his vacation schedule there were many times weeks between sessions. Instead of three months the evaluation took eight months to complete, the following is what was reported to court.
Evaluation Observations: Since their separation in December 1996 ANDREW has lived with his mother at his grandparents home and has had limited contact with his father, consisting of three hours on Wednesdays and three Sundays a month. Both parents acknowledge that these contacts have been difficult for Andrew with him having great anxiety and his maintaining a distant and aloof relationship from his father Jim states that this is new behavior on his son’s part and that he has become a fearful and anxious youngster since the separation. He believes that this is the result of his mother and grandparent’s influence. There is ample evidence that in many ways the Qs never fully pulled together as an autonomous family unit. Lori shows significant difficulties in establishing her own sense of independence and autonomy from her parents Lori’s difficulties with separation also extend to her son and she has a difficult time differentiating her own fears and worries from those of Andrew. She is hyper vigilant and often projects out her own worries and anger in a somewhat paranoid fashion. She is now closing ranks with her family and to do that Jim must be cast out as an active and valued participant in her son’s life.
A major question in this evaluation is the extent to which Jim presents a danger to his son that ANDREW IS in any physical danger when he is with his father. It is true that Jim has a history of alcohol abuse but I see little to no indication that he is drinking at all further, there is no history of Jim abusing Andrew or placing him at substantial risk. It is also the case that Andrew’s behavior is quite provocative Based on all the above, I would not expect Andrew to be in any physical danger. ANDREW IS a very anxious youngster caught in the conflict between his parents ANDREW HAS adapted the hyper vigilant stance of his mother and is thus tense and waiting for his father to explode in some way. For Andrew, time at his father’s is grim and joyless with little sense that he can have a good time. I think he has little interest in having an improved relationship with his father oven though I also believe that the relationship was better before the final separation As a matter of psychological survival he has also closed ranks with his mother and grandparents and has adopted the same distrustful and is suspicious attitudes.
I also believe that it is important that he be able to regain a relationship with his father to assist in distancing from the enmeshed and one sided, position he has taken. In effect he has decided that his mother and grandparents are good and his father is bad I believe that this type of splitting will inevitably lead to his also having a negative and distorted view of himself. Recommendations Jim and Lori Q should share joint legal custody of Andrew. I have seen nothing to suggest that Jim should not play a part in decision-making in Andrew’s life. Andrew should reside primarily with his mother. It is to her and his grandparents that he looks to for support and as primary attachment figures. It is important for him to know that this relationship will not be threatened by contact with his father. It is important that the relationship between Andrew and his father be strengthened I believe this will take a combination of counseling and increased time. I also believe that if one waited until Andrew or Lori felt ready then it would not occur because of Lori and her parent’s opposition and Andrew’s need to not oppose their desires. Thus I recommend that Andrew and his father start seeing someone in parent-child counseling on a once weekly basis. The focus of this therapy should be the relationship between father and son rather than individual work for Andrew. Goals would include improved communication, Andrew feeling more relaxed and less fearful, and Jim being more able to show his feelings to Andrew and reassure him that he has his son’s best interests in mind. It would also be important for this therapist to meet from time to time with Lori or Andrew and Lori as she sees fit. I also believe it would be helpful if this therapist were a woman to help prevent tendency in Andrew to see a male therapist as his father’s ally.
There will be a tremendous resistance in this family system to increasing contact with concomitant pressure on the therapists involved. I would thus recommend that four months after starting therapy the contact be increased in principal. Andrew should be able to spend an extended time over the summer with his father. Lori specifically asked that she be able to know about Jim’s medication and that she be able to assess his condition before Andrew goes with his father. This is intrusive, heightens and lends credence to Andrew’s hyper vigilance and should not be permitted. It is essential that Andrew remain in his therapy to help him in what will no doubt be a difficult transition Andrew appears to have made a very good connection to Dr. Linzer and to have been helped by her. It would also be very helpful to both Jim and to Andrew’s therapist if she would meet with Jim on a regular, though not necessarily frequent basis to give and get feedback, about Andrew and how his visits with his father are progressing. Milton P, Schaefer, Ph.D.
By the time the evaluation was completed all parties were exhausted, the divorce was filed in Jan of 1997, the evaluation didn’t begin until November and not complete until May 1998. The evaluator waited till the last minute to complete his report and it was faxed to my attorney the morning of the hearing. The court and I was given it at the time of the hearing, not allowing time to review its contents. As we were entering the courtroom my attorney informed me that there was a new judge on the bench, and that he was a nice guy, that his experience was contract law. I assume the only portion of the evaluation that was reviewed were the recommendations given that it was not received until the last minute. Well the judge ordered custody almost word for word from the evaluator’s recommendations. Since it meant I would finally get more time with my son, I was satisfied with the custody order. All this took fifteen minutes and I thought finally over.
I decided that my son and I would start our father son therapy the beginning of July 1998, this because I was going to my brothers wedding in June and going to be away two weeks. I figured it would give Andrew a break after the evaluation and I didn’t want the therapy to be interrupted by my trip. Upon my return I called my son’s mother to arrange for our visit and she informed me that Andrew didn’t wish to see me. She then informed me that we were going back to court that week, and that I would have to wait and see what the courts had to say about visitation. A few days prior to our court date I received a copy of a letter sent on behalf of my son by Judith Linzer, Ph.D. requesting the courts suspend visitation in order to protect my son from me. In her letter she openly admits to not having ever met me nor had she reviewed the custody evaluation. Below is the text from that letter addressed to Judge Jacob Blea, III:
Dear Judge Blea, I have been Andrew Qs psychotherapist since March 24, 1997. I saw Andrew weekly until April 23, 1998. I now see Andrew when his mother, Ms. Lori Q calls me to tell me that ANDREW has requested a session. The dates of these as needed sessions have been June 8 and July 8, 1998. I am writing to the Court because of my continuing and increasing concern about Andrew. Several months ago, he reported having chest pains and his mother reported that his pediatrician diagnosed him as having panic attacks. When I saw Andrew last week, he reported that he has recently been diagnosed with asthma. When I spoke with his mother on the phone on July 14th she confirmed that this diagnosis was made at the end of June 1998 Andrew is a ten-year-old boy with the cognitive abilities of an adult. He is emotionally a child but mentally an adult. He is very sensitive, thoughtful, intellectual, religious and morally principled.
When I first met him, we spent entire sessions discussing his spiritual dilemma about how it was possible for him to be so angry and upset with his father and still be able to call himself a Christian. I strongly suggested to Andrew at the beginning of his psychotherapy that he and his father be in therapy together in order to work on improving their relationship with each other. Andrew was reluctant and refused this suggestion. I was the one who pushed for the custody evaluation, telling both parents (I spoke with Mr. Jim Q on the phone a couple of times) and Andrew that I was hopeful that it would help Andrew and his father get along better. When I spoke with Dr. Ruthanne Allen on the phone back in the Spring/Summer of 1997, she and I both agreed that I would be Andrews’s person. That is she wanted him to be able to trust that he had a person who he could be open with and that I wouldn’t have to write reports to the Court or testify regarding that treatment.
Over time, ANDREW HAS come to trust me and be very open regarding his feelings. Over the past few months, he has expressed extreme frustration, terror, rage, despair, hopelessness, and helplessness. He is currently experiencing limbo and a loss of control. For the past few months, he has strongly asked me to communicate with the Court on his behalf. Several months ago, I saw him in a very agitated state and he blurted out statements like: “I don’t have any rights” “Why don’t kids get very many rights?” “I didn’t make this problem” “He (meaning his dad) gets to do what he wants” ” Why doesn’t t somebody do something?” “My father demands me to act the way he wants and if I don’t, he gets mad” “What if I don’t feel safe or if I’m scared?” “I told Dr. Schaefer, I told Ruthanne Alien, I told my mom and I told you. My mother divorced my father. Why can’t I divorce him?” ” It’s not fair. Id like that judge to have to have visitation with my father and let him see how he likes it. Id like to talk to that judge” When I asked Andrew if he thought he’d like to have his own lawyer, he replied “I can’t afford one, I only have a dollar” ANDREW HAS been patient and he is at his wits end. He has repeatedly told me that he fears being in therapy with his father because he is afraid that if he expresses his true feelings in therapy, his father will retaliate when he is alone with him. Andrew reports memories of seeing domestic violence between his parents and he reports fears that his father may become physically violent towards him. Over the time I have known him, he has become more and more miserable and despondent regarding his visits with his father.
One of the results of the custody evaluation (which I have not seen but heard about from Andrew, his mom and Dr. Schaefer) was a recommendation that psychotherapy commences between father and son. The custody evaluation report was completed in the spring and the recommended family therapy was supposed to begin in the summer. Ms. Lori Q has told me that Mr. Jim Q was objecting to allowing me access to the therapist -who would be -working -with father and son. I told Ms. Q that it was standard procedure and therapeutically essential that I be able to speak with that other therapist. In order for this therapy to be useful and in order for Andrew to feel protected, I must be able to communicate with that therapist. ANDREW HAS been waiting and waiting and waiting for something to give him relief. He reports feeling frightened and tense when he visits his father. He sees his father every Wednesday night and all day Sunday. This happens week after week after week and ANDREW isn’t exploding; he is imploding. The child is becoming ill from all this stress and he sees no relief in sight. I am writing to the Court because I feel that I am letting my patient down. I have no answer for him when he asks me plaintively; why doesn’t somebody do something? When I asked him if the wanted me to write to the judge, he became animated and wholeheartedly said “Yeah!” I was the one who cajoled my patient to go along with the custody evaluation. I was the one who reassured him that psychotherapy with his father would resolve things once and for all. I told him that the therapy would either improve his relationship with his father or provide the Court with an impartial professional opinion outlining what those problems were and whether and how they could or could not be resolved. I told him that I would be there to protect him by being able to communicate with that therapist. I told him that I would be able to express his concerns to that therapist and that this family therapist would also act to protect him. So far, none of this has happened.
Andrew reports that his relationship with his father is rapidly deteriorating and that his father is becoming more and more unpredictable, volatile emotionally and inappropriate. Andrew reports that his father cries in his presence, asking him why he doesn’t love him. He says that his father asks him to fake it. He says that his father threatens to move back to Ohio, that his father has accused him of causing his financial ruin and that he blames Ms. Q for leaving him. Andrew reports feeling more and more angry and disgusted with his fathers behavior. Andrew said that his father laughs and cries for no reason, like a nervous breakdown. Andrew also repeatedly reports that his father drives too fast, that his father is sometimes angry when he drives and that he smells alcohol on his breath. Andrew reports that he refuses to tell his father what he wants to hear because that would be wrong. He reports that he tells his father that he doesn’t want to talk to him about it and that this makes his father mad. Andrew reports feeling intimidated by his father’s behavior but Andrew will not comply with his father’s demands because such behavior would violate his principles. Andrew said that he doesn’t know what to do. He said he requested the July 8, 1998 session with me in order to figure out how to stay safe during the visitation with his father. I realize that I have never met Mr. Q and that I have not had the opportunity to review the custody evaluation report. However I see myself as an advocate and voice to the Court for the minor. I feel an obligation to report to the Court that this child is psychologically and spiritually suffering greatly and that he is becoming physically ill.
He fears for his physical safety and he is also losing faith in a system that he correctly perceives is not protecting him. He understands that as a minor he is unable to legally act on his own behalf and despairs at his inability to protect himself and wonders why the adults in his life are ignoring his pleas for protection and relief. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss this matter. Sincerely, Judith Linzer, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist Psy 9833
I appeared in court as ordered but this time without an attorney, I had just relieved him due to finance and I believed the battle was over. The judge suspended visitation, I being totally ignorant as to how to defend myself, I just let it all happen. Shortly there after we began father son therapy, the sessions consisted of a lot of silence this due to my son refusing to participate. It was worse in the waiting room before the session, his mother would wait with him and neither would speak to me even when I would speak to them. It became so uncomfortable that the therapist requested that I come to the session ten minutes later and enter by way of the back door. This went of for about four weeks, and then at the beginning of a session Andrew told me that he didn’t want to see me anymore.He told me that, maybe he would feel differently in three or four years, but not now. I told my son I would agree not to see him until he was ready and that I would always be there for him if he needed me. That was in October 1998 and needless to say I was devastated, I had never felt such pain and emptiness.
Then on December 3rd of that same year, I received a phone call from Doctor Linzer. She told me that she had made a terrible mistake, and that I was right Andrew was being brainwashed. She told me that Andrew has been cut off from her, just as he was cut off from me.
She told me that she believed Andrew was a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome, and that he was very ill and in need of help. She said she had an article that explained what was happening to my son, and that she would sell me a copy if interested. She told me that Andrew was a suicide risk and asked me what she should do and I instructed her to immediately write the judge and inform him of her concern for Andrew.
Below is the text taken from that letter: Dear Judge Blea:
I would like to bring you up-to-date regarding this case since my letter to you dated july17, 1998 and since the last court date July 29, 1998. I saw Andrew for five individual psychotherapy sessions on August 26, September 2,9 and 23rd October 1, 1998.I have not seen him since. I stated in my July 17th letter, that I had never seen Dr. Schaefer’s custody evaluation said that I had never before met Mr. Q, On July 29th when I appeared in Court, Ms. Q’s attorney at the time, Ms. Connie Sheehan, stated that she would send me a copy of the custody evaluation. On July 29th, I recommended that visitation be temporarily suspended and that the father-son psychotherapy should commence immediately. I stated that Andrew was stressed and suffering emotionally and physically regarding his Wednesday night and Sunday visits with his father. Both Andrew and his mother had reported to me that Andrews’s relationship with his father had deteriorated and that the visits were pains taking, awkward and miserable. In court on July 29th, Mr. Q collaborated that the visits between Andrew and. Himself were getting worse and worse. It was my thinking that the father-son therapy might help ameliorate this painful and stuck relationship. I also stated that if the visits were temporarily suspended, Andrew might feel safer to speak his mind in psychotherapy.
That was not what happened. Andrew was surprised that the Court had responded to his concerns and suspended visitation. Although this certainly made him feel understood and cared about it also seemed to give him an inordinate sense of power and control. He continued to object to the father-son psychotherapy. In his individual sessions with me, he focused on his worry that the visits would be reinstated at some point in the future. He refused to entertain the possibility that the therapy might improve his relationship with his father. He was adamant that he did not want to improve his relationship with his father. That each consecutive session became more and more unproductive. She reported that Andrew would speak to her and ignore his father. She described the last session between father and son. As a kind of sad session She reported that Andrew was angry and said that he was sick of no one listening to him.
She reported that his father said that he was listening to him and that he would agree not to see him again until Andrew wanted to see him. Dr. Hilmo reported that Andrew might have felt guilty and sad. After his father left the session, Andrew expressed a concern to Dr. Hilmo that his father might have a car wreck, on his way home. She interpreted this to mean that Andrew was anxious about the possibility of having caused harm to his father. She also reported that Andrew was surprised that his father agreed to stop the psychotherapy. He was once again surprised that the grown-ups were letting him have his way. When I saw Andrew shortly after that, he expressed his concern to me, asking me if I thought he made a good decision, when we explored this together he became very agitated and angry with me. This was because I did not support his decision to sever his relationship with his father. Andrew didn’t realize that he had so much power and that he was. Worried about his decision, Andrew thought he could object to contact with his father, but he never believed that be would actually be allowed to stop that contact. Ms. Q reported to me that Andrew had put a rope or cord around his neck after one of his sessions with Dr. Hilmo. Ms. Q was very agitated and expressed fear that Andrew was suicidal.. In one session, Andrew fell on the floor of my office (from a sitting position on the couch), clutched his chest, gasping for air and in a panicked tone, implored me to get his mother. When I spoke to Dr. Hilmo on the phone she told me that. Andrew had an asthma attack in her office and that it seemed like a feigned asthma attack to her, he told her in no uncertain terms that he was sure that he had made a good decision.
He was extremely angry with me that I did not agree with him. Ms. Q spoke with me (without Andrew present) for the last few minutes of this session. She too was very agitated and angry with me. She asked me why I thought Andrew did not want to see his father. I told her point blank that it was my belief that Andrew did not want to see his father because Andrew was being loyal to her. She told me that she was disappointed in me and commanded me not to make Andrew be m psychotherapy with his father When I asked her if she wanted to reschedule, she left my office in a huff, saying. “What’s the point?” That was the last time I saw Andrew. I did call him on the telephone a couple of weeks later. His grandmother answered the phone. She was aloof but polite; She put Andrew on the phone. He was uncommunicative, I asked him .how he was and his answer was monotone. I told him that I hoped he was OK. And that if he wanted to speak with me again, I was available. That was my last contact with either Andrew or his mother. I was concerned about Andrews’s well being. I called and spoke to Ruthanne Alien (Family Court Services mediator) on October 6. I left a voice mail for Dr. Hilmo on October 6. I called to inform them regarding the situation and to consult with them due to my concerns regarding Andrew. I was aware that Andrew was cut off from his psychotherapy with me and with Dr. Hilmo and from all contact with his father.
Suspending visitation did not have the hoped for effect, of making Andrew feel safer, and more able to make good use of the psychotherapy with Dr. Hilmo. Rather it had the reverse effect of giving Andrew a way to sever his relationship with his father. After a year and a half of involvement in this case, I feel confident in making the diagnosis of Parental Alienation Syndrome, with Ms. Q being the alienating parent and with Mr. Q being, the target parent This turn of events, unfortunate as it was, illuminated to me that this was indeed a PAS case. The Joint father-son psychotherapy provided a forum where a trained, neutral observer (Dr. Hilmo) witnessed what was happening between Andrew and his father. For example, I had no way of knowing if Andrews compliant to me that his father ignored him was accurate, or not. When Dr. Hilmo reported that in fact, it was Andrew who was. Ignoring his father, the cat was out of the bag. In order to prevent the joint reunification psychotherapy from being fully implemented, Andrew’s symptoms increased dramatically, Ms. Q declared Andrew suicidal and the therapy process was derailed almost immediately. Part of the reason why Andrew was so agitated and angry with me during his last two sessions was due to the confusion and cognitive dissonance he was experiencing. He knew that I was interested in his well being and couldn’t put that together with my stating That his idea of cutting off his father was not m his best interest, in order to resolve the tension, he stopped thinking. I had been able to be there for Andrew for a year and a half because I had maintained my impartiality. I had managed to maintain my rapport with Ms. Q and thus maintain my therapeutic contact with Andrew.
Once I told Andrew that I didn’t support his decision not to see his father and once I told Ms. Q that Andrew was doing this for her, the therapeutic alliance was disrupted. I was now viewed by both Andrew and his mother as not supporting their view of reality and thus not to be trusted. In effect, ANDREW IS now alienated from me, just as he is from his father. I spoke to Mr. Q on the phone and told him about the diagnosis of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Ms. Q attorney, Ms, Rita Harper contacted me and I told her that I was concerned about Andrew and that I believed this was a Parental Alienation case. I supplied both Mr. Q and. Ms. Harper with two articles written by Deirdre Rand Ph.D. The Spectrum of parental alienation Syndrome (Parts I and II) published in 1997 ill the American Journal of Forensic Psychology (articles enclosed to the Court). I believe that as long as ANDREW HAS no contact with his father, he will not act out in. any self-destructive way. I do believe that if ANDREW IS forced to have contact with his father, that he will once again become very agitated, have asthma attacks and escalate his self-destructive behavior. This is a sad state of affairs, being that the alienated target parent is generally lost forever to the child. ANDREW IS very fragile and at risk. ANDREW HAS a very disturbed sense of self and can’t stand separation from his mother. If reunification is not implemented Andrew will lose his relationship with his father and stay enmeshed with his mother, if reunification is attempted, he will most likely, act out in a self destructive way. If ANDREW IS to be reunited with his father, several things need to happen. First of all, Mr. Q needs to take an active stance. Mr. Q must pursue the reunification and be prepared to incur financial expense a Special Master, and be prepared to get more emotional abuse from Andrew. He must be able to continue to hang in there and be there for Andrew. This will be difficult and painful for both Mr. Q and for Andrew. It is my belief that the reunification process cannot be successful without the backing of the Court (i.e. Court orders). Andrew cannot be asked if he wants to visit his father. In his custody evaluation, Dr. Schaefer recommended that visitation be increased and not be dependent on Andrews views on the matter. The only way Andrew can begin to have a positive relationship with his father, is if his mother and the others on her side of the family who are programming him to denigrate his father can be stopped from doing, this. Andrew needs to be given the opportunity to have some space to begin perceiving his father as he, is and not as others appear to see Mr. Q If Ms. Q is able to cooperate and encourage Andrew’s visits with his father, then Andrew will have permission to stop denigrating his father. If she persists in programming Andrew to denigrate his father, the visits will once again result in severe psychiatric symptoms that put Andrew at high risk for sell-destructive behavior (i.e. SUICIDE) In extreme cases, children have been removed from the alienating parent’s custody. It is imperative that the alienating parent not be allowed any opportunity to interfere with the reunification process while it is occurring, I have worked with PAS cases m the past and it is my belief that ANDREW IS in particular, a high-risk youngster He is a very fragile, agitated, enmeshed with his mother, disturbed ten year old. Andrew currently believes that his father is unstable, uncaring and potentially harmful (i.e. He drives too fast, he is drinking). Although Andrew apparently feigns asthma attacks, his stress and terror are quite real; I would be willing to continue working on this case if the Court deemed it appropriate. My recommendation to the Court is to have an updated evaluation. I have not seen Andrew for two months and cant report on his current status. I would suggest that Dr. Milton Schaefer be contacted to see if he might be available to update his custody evaluation. It is possible that a Special Master might be helpful m this case. If Mr. Q is able and willing to take an active stance, reunification may be possible. Whether reunification is attempted or not, ANDREW IS a, very unhappy, apprehensive, disturbed youngster who needs psychological assistance. I’m sorry to be the bearer of such bad tidings. Sincerely, Judith Linzer, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Whose hands will be washed in my son’s blood if he becomes a teen suicide statistic? . I believe Alameda County, California Superior Court Judge Jacob Blea III bares this responsibility! I believe him to be negligent in his responsibilities as a Family Court Judge, I don’t believe he even took the time to review the first evaluation or the over one hundred and fifty page report provided by Dr. Linzer which outlined and explained her diagnosis of Parental Alienation Syndrome I believe that if he had, he would have immediately taken steps necessary in protecting my son and the rights being denied him and in the words of his Ph.D. by. “
A system failing to protect him” How can this happen and how many others lives have been destroyed by this judge and his obvious lack of concern for this badly abused child. I assure you sir I will not rest until this case is made public, my son’s well being secured and his rights under the Constitution are recognized. This courts sanctioned emotional abuse will surely result in long term injury to both my son and me! Doctor Judith Linzer’s July 1998 letter contains statements and questions voiced on behalf of my son directed to you and I believe he is due a response, questions like: “I don’t have any rights” “Why don’t kids get very many rights?” “ It’s not fair. Id like that judge to have to have visitation with my father and let him see how he likes it. Id like to talk to that judge” When I asked Andrew if he thought he’d like to have his own lawyer, he replied “I can’t afford one, I only have a dollar” Or the big question “ Why doesn’t somebody do something?” In December 1998 Alameda County California Superior Court Judge Jacob Blea III ordered a second and unneeded custody evaluation on Case Number H-194174-0, this after my son’s Ph.D. submitted a letter to the courts explaining her error in not reading the first evaluation. Then getting sucked into my ex-wives attempts of brainwashing and alienating my son from me. Even though she admits from the beginning she had not read the evaluation or even met me. She advised the courts to suspend visitation in order to protect my son from me; the courts accepted that recommendation thus forever severing our once close relationship. Had my son’s doctor reviewed the finding contained in the twenty-eight-page custody evaluation, they would have been aware of the warnings that his mother was influencing my son and that and I quote: “As a matter of psychological survival he has also closed ranks with his mother and grandparents and has adopted the same distrustful and is suspicious attitudes” The evaluation warned of my ex-wife’s anticipated sabotage of this therapy and that all parties involved needed to be aware of this to avoid a break down. It specifically directed my son’s doctor to be on guard and to meet with both parents and the father son therapist. Had she reviewed the evaluation she would have known this? In her second letter to the courts admitting her error in not reviewing the custody evaluation, she points out in no uncertain terms the danger my son was in at the hands of my ex-wife. She makes the statement: “If she persists in programming Andrew to denigrate his father, the visits will once again result in severe psychiatric symptoms that put Andrew at high risk for sell-destructive behavior (i.e. SUICIDE)” The judge seemingly ignored this point because he ordered no corrective action insuring his safety. However in her closing recommendations she seems unwilling or unable to decide if it was better for my son to be left in this environment, forever cutting him off from his father or if court assisted reunification would be in his best interest. Due to her this vague treatment strategy, she and the judge take the easy way out and order another custody evaluation. Keep in mind the first evaluation was completed and accepted six months earlier. The judge warns my son’s mother of the possibility of losing custody, slaps her hand and orders the second evaluation which takes eight months to complete due to the evaluators vacation schedule. In our final session the evaluator asked my son if it would be OK if he recommended 1 hour a year visitation, this so we wouldn’t pass each other in a store and not recognize each other. My sons response was obviously stressed and stated that he guessed that would be OK. Just days before our court date the evaluator contacted me demanding I pay him $600 or he would not be able to release the report. I offered payments but he refused stating that it had been his experience, that if I didn’t like the results of the report he wouldn’t get paid. Because the report was not submitted the courts closed our case and I haven’t seen my son since. I phoned Judge Blea the day the case was closed and he refused to take my call or return the message left with his clerk. Judge Blea I demand you do your job and protect this child, before his bloods on your hands at which time I will hold you personally responsible. It would seem the welfare of a minor was in question this based on statements contained in my son’s PhD’s letter to the courts in December 1998. I believe that the courts have a responsibility to my son to demand and review the evaluation and consider his best interest. The evaluation was a court order and any disputes as to fee a separate issue; again the fate of a suicidal child is hanging in the balance. In December 2000 after my not being allowed to drop off a Christmas gift and my son’s school refusing to communicate with me, I contacted the court evaluator to find out if there was something going on I wasn’t aware of. He informed me that my ex-wife had been hospitalized at least 3 times over the course of a year for mental illness. If he knew then the courts should have been notified, however neither the courts or myself were contacted as to my ex-wives condition and inability to physically care for my son. I phoned the family court services mediator informing her of my concern and the violation of our joint custody court order and her response was that they were done with this case and that they would not get involved and that I would have to take it back to court. It should be noted that my son’s doctor also contacted Ruthanne Allen, Ph.D. Family Court Services Mediator expressing her concerns for Andrew’s well being after he being cut off from me and his therapy with her. This because she didn’t support the decision to sever his relationship with me. There is no mention in Dr. Linzer’s letter as to a response, I would assume by there being no action taken that she too failed in her duties to protect my son! I phoned my ex-wife and informed her of my knowledge of her sickness. To discuss what we do about custody and inform her that the evaluator was freely giving me her medical info.
Shortly there after she disconnected their phone and refuses to answer the door or respond to letters, my grandparents had sent my son a check for his birthday and it was never cashed. By that I assume his mail is being intercepted and not being given to him, I now live in Ohio and have not had contact with him since our final evaluation session.
COMMENT on system:
It’s about the complete and utter destruction of a child turned into a weapon of divorce and in the words of his PhD’s “a system that has failed to protect him” a system broken by Judges putting in their year and routinely passing on these extremely combative and destructive cases to the next Judge.
The new judge basically being given no background, are fresh meat to self serving politically driven misery monsters and so called mental health professionals eager to raise a new issue and bill some more hours. These professionals knowing the new judges tenancy to be cautious in making custody decisions. Finally the case settled usually by one of the parents being either, financially or mentally worn down by the never-ending hurdles of assumed guilt.
Unlike the aggressive and creative support services provided by the courts to enforce support payments, a parent looking for assistance in enforcing a visitation order, are made to once again enter the courtroom and the additional cost of justice. The child and now alienated parent are left to wonder around in a post war battle-ground unaware of the emotional mine fields that lay ahead.
Name: Monique Arceo Location: Riverside, CA
Email Addr: firstname.lastname@example.org
Children/Birth Date: Rodolfo Sandoval 1998, Diego Sandoval 2000
Date Separated: April 15, 2002
Well I was married seven years to my children’s dad. We had two children together Rodolfo age 5,and Diego age 2. My ex-husband worked numerous amount of hours through our whole marriage most of the time 18hrs+ he wouldn’t see his kids for days on end, he was always late to birthdays, Christmas, and holiday or important event that involved his family. It caused a lot of problems the last year and a half. He know his job better than his own family. He got fed up with all the complaining served me divorce papers in early 2001. He wanted joint custody at first as long as i was still having sex to his convenience. He started playing games making promises it would work but continued to see his girlfriend he had on the side during the last couple of months of our marriage. So I finally got tiered of trying to hold on to something that wasn’t real. I let him know I was done playing with him, He could still see the kids as much as he wanted. That wasn’t good enough he wanted full custody all of a sudden.
We went back to court I was a house wife for seven years and now making min wage next to my ex-husband who made good money, but had time to be a dad got custody. I was in awe. I was naturally really upset. My ex who in his eyes I was a very good mother my kids could not have it better. Told the judge I was a monster I never fed my kids, bathed my kids, or paid any attention to them, all I did was sit there and smoke crack. So the judge ordered a hair follicle, and urine test with in the next hour I came out clean as a priest. I lost custody. Why did I lose my kids?
I ask my self that same question everyday since that happened. I got my joint custody for awhile we were suppose switch my kids every month.I gave them to their dad when it was time, but he left so I never got them back. Took him back to court the judge asked why no phone call or nothing. My ex stated he was to busy and he didn’t give me a # because I call my kids way to much. That O.K ed it I was in shock all the judge said was he’ll give us his final decision in the mail. I naturally asked could I take my kids till than I haven’t seen them in three months he said”NO”
I cried and could I have them for the day. I live in Ca. my case is in NV. were my ex-husband lives. The judge said yes but it has to supervised. I cried so much I walked out of the court room not knowing what to do. The judge considered out of control. The bailiff saw marks on my left arm which are from donating plasma. I got $ out of donating I had to be in Las Vegas for court just lost my job what else was I supposed to do. I made it to court though. I got my answer in the mail it said I have full contact with my babies I have to take drug test and anger man classes for one year. Well I admit I was upset in court but I’m a mother and babies are going to go be raised by my ex-husbands girlfriend who he was having an affair with. I have my plasma files stating that I have in deed been donating and I’m clean from drugs. The courts won’t give the time of day to present my proof of anything. Anger man is not necessary its only natural of mother to react the way I did. Drug testing I’ve proved more than once that’s just unfair.
Please Somebody Tell me what I can do? I need help I’m lost. I don’ t know which direction to go or turn. From a very confused Mother, and Two very unhappy little boys. Thank You.
Name: Ruby J. Baldwin Location: Tucson, AZ
Email Addr: email@example.com
Children/Birth Date: Antonio Ray Pastrano
Date Separated: June 13, 1999
Hi! My name is Ruby J Baldwin case# BD 304851 at the Los Angeles superior court house of Ca. Judge Roy L. Paul, and the law firm of Tuckerman and Thompson who had represented me.
For over 3 years I had fought custody of my son in Ca, from Az dragging my twin daughters back and forth went broke from Attorney’s wanted more money lost a lot in this case had seen 4 male Judges went to trial. Judge didn’t want to hear my witnesses, The evaluators home visit in Ca didn’t come to my home visit in Az (when I paid money for this) instead they called my county to do them a favor, in which the Judge went by the evaluator in Ca, nothing negative was said about my home and family but Judge also read reports wrong something that was not said in there.
Attorney’s who didn’t argue about my complaints of the evaluator home visit etc……….Each time we went to court my daughters, son and myself would get more and more time taken away from visitations, The other parent would violate court orders and everything negative that I would point out to the Judge nothing was really done even though my son was bedwetting getting bad grades and etc………….. They still gave him custody and split my 3 children apart 500 miles away.
The courts were supposed to look at the child’s best Interest even though I said: Father works all the time, he kept moving him around, son needs help with school work and he is left home alone etc….meaning he is being neglected when he told the court he spends all the time in the world with him. The evaluator failed to do her Job right, by looking into that family he is involved with problems my ex his girlfriend has a trouble teen who has been in Jail and sent away in a boys home, they report said it was one happy family when there has been a lot of violence in that house with my ex and teen step-son. because of all this my son is doing even more badly in school the system is corrupted by not doing there job right!
It goes on there’s a lot moreto it then this. There was no negative said anything about me with the courts and it was said I’m a good mother have a nice home and all, but Judge had refused to really look into anything especially the evaluators they didn’t interview my daughters but my ex his girlfriend kids got interview how they feel if my son was to move.
Please can anyone help me it was all corrupted everything things that could/would/should have been proven. Now the kids suffer very much my son still has nightmares and cries all the time to me. They separated my children and they can only see each other one weekend a month, imagine the tragedy and all the trauma they are and still going through their childhood life’s it turned for the worst. There is a lot more to say please is there any kind or know people who volunteer for corruptive family law court cases, I’m in need of help to save my son and bring all 3 kids together again. Thank you. Ruby~
“continued case and more details info.”
Four years ago when I was still with my Husband is when my worst nightmare begun. My ex-husband (now he is) did more then convince me to agree to move us all to Tucson, Az. We were having a bad marriage after 7 years of being married. At the time my kids were 11 years old (twin girls) and a 6 year old son when their life changed for the worst. Today, My twin daughters Just turn 15 (not his) they live here in Tucson Az with me because that is where my husband at the time moved us and left us from Whittier Ca. After putting up with more then fights (stalking, threats, rumors, harassing, possessive, jealously) to myself and telling the kids, family and friends lies and labeling me as this worst human being I could be. I had to finally agree with him to move to another state for him to stop this. The more he acted that way the more he pushed me away, I did not want to work out our marriage.
The fact that he got very nasty and violent he was not going to leave me alone or stop that behavior tours us. After causing a few scenes at my Post Office job, I couldn’t handle it no more so he finally convince me to move out there, I only agree to avoid more embarrassing scene’s and making my kids cry by his behavior and lies of myself. I already new what the hassle would be by moving out there. Believe me! I did not want to pull all 3 of my kids out of school “one was in K-grade and twins were in 4th and be far away from our families, loose my position in the Post Office. I couldn’t get transfer because I had been there 9 months and haven’t past probation as full time carrier. I had to resign and re-apply after being on the waiting list for more then 3 years. I had a hard time getting in the postal field . Do you think I wanted to give all that up!!
Where in Az I had nothing lined up there, no family no nobody. I did this because my kids were hurting not myself I did not want them to go through what they were seeing and hearing anymore, the only way to work out our marriage was his way or no way and his way was moving out of state. As long as we were there in California he was going to make my life living hell and my kids too, he told me so and he was doing it. So after dragging all the kids out in the middle of the school year where the students and teachers were crying that they were moving and my kids were upset and sad the fact they were going to be at a different school and going to missed there old friends.
He had acted like nothing when we first arrived in Tucson, which was fine because we were going to start fresh and leave the past alone. Believe me it was eating me up inside what he had put us through. He also had said to me he quit his job to work our marriage out and I believed him. Well 2 months went by after registering the kids in school to continue the year and watch my son graduate from K-grade, he decided and again convince me he had to go to Ca to take care of some work related problems and was going to be gone for about 5-7 days (in June school was already out) wanting to take our only child together (our son) he had me believed that he was coming back, leaving me with no money and bills to be paid, I thought: O.K he needs to go and take care of work problems to get his last pay check that supposedly was never send to him. So of course I thought it was O.K. because everything we had put our kids through he would halfto be wanting to work things out. So when he left he assured me of a lot!
When he got to Ca, He called me acting like nothing, everything is o.k. He would call everyday to re-asure me that everything is fine, he had no problems putting my son on the phone so we can talk to him anyday anytime. But as soon as 7 days came around I started asking when are you coming back, this is taking to long, we miss our son/brother, he wants to come home and it’s time to come back. When 8-9 days came around he wouldn’t answer the phone started avoiding me and it goes on………. I drove out to Ca, with my daughters 500! miles away no Air Condition in my car in the middle of the summer driving through a bad dry heat in the dessert making it with little money I had for gas to see what is going on and pick up our son to take him back home with us!!!!!
I get served with divorce and custody papers! He was able to get emergency temp. custody by convincing the courts I was going to kidnap our son and take him to another state when he has lived in Whittier, I was taking him to be spiteful and not letting him have a relationship with him. Now I’m going to make this short. That was Just the beginning of my story!! Since then he has made life hell for the kids and myself he had used our son as a weapon against me because he said I was not convincing him or putting in any effort to work out our marriage. But I forgot to mentioned this in the beginning when we lived in Whittier he didn’t let me see my son after he kicked my daughters and I out to my moms house. He said if he can’t have me then I can’t have our son, My son and I were and still very close. He is my youngest, a mama’s boy and was and still fears dad. He never went to dad when he was hurt, cried, first time doing something that made him feel special, It was always mom this mom that and my mom. Till this day he will cry and tell me sad things (I have proof).
My problem is he has and still lies about everything he said and done my son has said to me, sisters, counselor, Cps, Dad, friends, cousins and so many more people that he wants to live in Az with mom and his sisters and how badly he misses us. When he took him from me school was already out in Az but not in Ca, so he put him back in school to watch him Graduate Kgrade and I had missed all that because I was unaware what was going on.
We went through a nasty custody battle. My daughters and son had suffered as well they were doing bad in school they went through a depression. Today I had lost custody through a so call trial when Judge refused to hear, view, listen, look into any evidence, witnesses etc…. This is a guy that has violated everything that was ordered not to do. My son is forced on depression medication because where he is at no one would listen to him what the problem is the courts failed to investigate what my proof of his character, behavior and any other thing that will lead them to believe I was telling the truth.
It was all about what he wanted every time I complain of his violations I get punished and get time taken away for the kids and my self, they are hurting the kids more, today the order is One weekend visitation to Az a month (my expense when going to Az his expense on the way back) and one weekend visitation for me (mom) to go out to Ca to see him. I have to fly out there because I have no car, I have my daughters here with me which I have to leave them to go out there and they don’t get to spend hardly any time together. My kids are very close and hug and kiss all the time it hurts when they have to say good-bye.
Question: Why? would the courts split them 500 miles apart, my daughters have been with there brother since he was born, did they not think how can you split up brother and sisters apart since they have known him since birth???? Did they not think the affects of splitting them apart? It was and has been terrible. So my son is failing school, wetting his bed, difficult concentrating, wakes up during a nightmare and at times when he is with me he’ll wake up during his sleep crying and screaming for me not to leave or don’t die mom. That is so terrible and plus the drama of problems where he lives with dad ‘s girlfriend and her 3 kids the oldest is 16 and in Juevenile jail, was send away to a boys camp in Utah, has been kicked out high school 2-3 times has a police record of GTA etc… a lot of problems in that house with my ex and his girlfriend a lot has to do with her son.
And the other 2 kids he doesn’t get along with they put him down tell kids at school he wets his bed and dad makes him wear a diaper at night they all go to the same elementary school and they tell the other kids. The oldest boy (david) picks on him calls him nasty names, makes him cry all the time. I want to help my son and they put him on medication because of his real problems at home when the problem is my son is not a happy boy there he is happy when he is with us. He fears dad because he is verbal, emotional, physically, mentally abusive that is why were divorced. Yet! the courts did not believed me. They all fail there job on saving helping my son instead they let him live with the one thing that has made and caused all of this stressful, depression traumatic problem in the kids life I as well have too, but I’m worry and concern more of health and house living. We all pray and hope he can live with us. I hurt so much I can not begin to tell you of my self but I will continue if you want to know! I would like to get someone’s attention to help me! I’ve written letters all over. Thank you for reading this. Ruby Jean Baldwin
Comment on system:
My constitutional rights were thrown out the door! Children have rights too, They didn’t want to hear about my daughters (who are half blood brother of my sons) names in the court room. Just because they were not my son’s dad kids, when he raised them, claimed them on his taxes, used his last name, and also fed them. And they didn’t wanted to know about them how they felt but instead they separated them from there brother.