Christian Fardel (submitted from France)
This is my situation..If it can be of use pass it on…… This was sent to our ministry of Justice ( France) and is sent through the web …..
……………For two years ,my 7 -year old daughter shares a “split residence ” between her mother’s apartment and my house.
The advantages are numerous:
After school ,every monday, thursday,and one friday out of two,her mother picks her up in school to bring he back in the morning.
Every tuesday ,wednesday and one Friday out of two ,I go pick her up in school to bring her to school in the morning.
Her vacations are equally divided in two ,alternating from one year to the next.
This “ split residence” seems difficult to organize but it has numerous advantages for the child ,as well as for each parent.
Of course detractors will denigrate this form of organization , but it has major advantages
FOR THE CHILD:
1. The happiness to find her parents every two days or so.
2. The happiness to have TWO houses ( two bedrooms ) when she seemed to have lost ONE family.
3. The advantage to have everything in duplicate compared to other children, books, toys, friends, computers, families, and so on….
4. The benefit from a DOUBLE education ( languages ,cultures ,and so on….).
5. The benefit from twice as much care ( each parent trying to be better in “catching up” with the “lost time “ when the child is with the other parent.
6. To have TWO lifestyles..(clothing,culture ,hobbies…)
FOR EACH PARENT:
The advantage to be able to organize his/her life,by being a” Part Time“ parent by getting the most of it.
1. Find more time to spend with the child when he is there
2. But find the time to do NOTHING or EVERYTHING when he is not there
3. To follow his/her child’s education more closely and more regularly.
4. To keep up with the child’s behaviour,health or psychological balance.
5. AND most important ,to avoid to be taken away from the child’s life, situation with disastrous consequences, where violence finds its roots.
I noticed in my daughter:
– A permanent smile
– Very good results in school
– Excellent relations with school friends
– Excellent relations with me,and other adults.
– The happiness to see our old neighbour and his dog after a few days of absence.( The same goes with her dolls ,Teddy bears and so on )….
Of course, this is not the perfect solution but it makes it easier to correct the drawbacks , as necessary. Some people would say that it is detrimental for the child’s balance,but it is not true. Miltary personnal’s children travel and move a lot without major consequences.
After parents’ separation ,as long as each parent can ,and gives his best to his/her child, ”split-residence” is the best a child can expect from the community,and it should be the solution put forward in the child’s best interest.
ENFANT ET SON DROIT ( Child and his Rights )