Right to know you're a parent? NonViolent action & future plans.

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From: John Murtari (jmurtari@akidsright.org)
Date: Wed Feb 25 2009 - 16:19:00 EST

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Good People & People of Faith,

Well, a month of NonViolent Action with no arrest.  In some ways a
relief; in other ways a disappointment.

http://www.AKidsRight.Org/parental_notification  (details & photo)

I escalated my actions until I was walking inside the local Family
Courthouse -- carrying a placard of parents & children unjustly
separated.  Plenty of security staff, but I was left alone.

I've temporarily stopped because I'm within about 30 days of my son
Domenic's spring break (March 21-28). I didn't want to miss that...

But then what?  A lot depends on what you and other parents are
willing to do.  I have a few thoughts and your FEEDBACK and
participation is welcome.

Change in focus from Family Rights?
Someone asked me about that.  The emphasis in Syracuse had always been
a presumption of EQUAL & FIT parents -- why the change to parental
notification of birth?

It seemed an 'easy' issue when I first brought it up with my member of
the NY State Legislature.  Who could oppose the concept that BOTH
parents be notified of the birth of their child?  Mr. Oaks told me
there was strong political opposition in Albany.  Imagine that!

All of us have heard the objections from legislators about
presumptions of EQUAL & FIT parents.  So many studies, so little time!
They 'want' to support you, but it's 'complicated'.

Maybe we need to step back to move forward?

More Chalk or More Parents? Contributions?
I'd like to avoid using chalk to write messages on a sidewalk. It would
be great to have another Mom & Dad with me.  We could really get
some publicity.  About a year ago I spent some money and advertised a
meeting for parents in some local papers -- we had a snow storm that
day, nobody came.

I'd like to try the advertising again.  Just $40 can get you a decent
ad locally.  Contributions of $10-$20 would be welcome and a big help.
I'd like to thank John Holden (IPYRAMUS@yahoo.com) for sending in $40
a few weeks ago, it was a nice surprise

I'll need to buy the ads during the first week of March, to get them
in papers the second week, for a meeting the third week!  If you can
help, my mailing address is:

John Murtari (please make check or MO payable to me)
34 Franklin St.
Lyons, NY 14489

I'm very fortunate to even have a son to be separated from!  Marriage
and family were always the most important thing to me -- even more
than flying a jet!.  It seemed derailed by the old 'Fallopian tube
blockage...', but after over a year of treatment and surgery and being
ready to adopt -- it worked.  These words may sound 'trite', but
Domenic was 'bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh'.  What a great

We are modern now.  I'm sure most of you don't 'bargain' with the
Almighty!  "Lord, you give me this and I'll do that...."  Well, I must
confess, for many months I prayed hard -- and as many of us know
(perhaps now more than ever), what is more important than family? I
would have traded about anything else to be a Dad...

If God had said, "John, I'll give you a son, BUT you will go through
(insert divorce disaster story).  You will be broke and suffer
indignity, BUT your son will always love you.  All I want is for you
to 'try' to make things better for others.  Do you accept?"

I would have signed on the dotted-line in a heartbeat.  My head
spins when I hear some of your stories:  the children you haven't
seen in YEARS! Kids that have been so alienated, they hate you
even as adults!

You see, I got a VERY GOOD DEAL!  But I have to carry through on my
part of the bargain or I'll choke on my own good fortune. Many of you
have backgrounds and situations where you really can't do much
actively for reform, I'm lucky I can...

Mix of Emotions - Still!
After getting to compare life in jail, with life out of jail -- I have
to say I prefer freedom!  It was great seeing my son for Christmas and
January was a great month of pro Football (even though the Giants did
choke!).  I really enjoy my work, even though it is not very
profitable at present.  It was almost 'easy' to forget about the
indignity, pain, and suffering produced by the 'system!'

I really didn't want to go back to NonViolent Action at the end of
January.  Last year I watched the Super-bowl from a correctional
facility.  I didn't want to do that again!  I was lucky, nothing
happened to me.  http://www.AKidsRight.Org/parental_notification

I'm 52 now and not getting any younger!  Why keep this up?  Will
anyone notice?  Will anyone care?  

But how do you stop?  Where was the mistake in all the great words?
What do I tell my Son?

What the Village Judge said, "John, you're just one man. You can't
beat the system..."  I don't believe that. It's only over when you
yourself quit.  I love this quote from Gandhi, It seems so appropriate
to our reform movement and some of the people:

   "He who is brooding over result often loses nerve in the
   performance of duty. He becomes impatient and then gives vent to
   anger . . . he jumps from action to action, never remaining
   faithful to any. He who broods over results . . . is every
   distracted, he says good-bye to all scruples, everything is right
   in his estimation and he therefore resorts to means fair & foul to
   attain his end. Not focusing on results gives one the inner peace
   to achieve final goals ..." 

Join Me
But of course, I must continue.  Certainly more people need to become
involved to make reform a reality.  Without a doubt, personal
sacrifice will be required.  My Faith tells me the effort alone is
valuable....  I'm must do my small part....

What do we need to make TV & the Papers, another loving Mom & Dad to
join me.  I'm sure we could convince Assemblyman Oaks (and almost any
other politician) that this is about "Civil Rights" and a good thing
to support.

I'll be back at it in April, I'd love your company!

Best regards!
                                       John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/
A Kid's Right to Both Parents!
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